The Mega-Zine Museum
June 10, 2002
THE DUCK IN THE HAT I don't HATE Blue, it's more of an intense dislike, just burning inside me. Oh, they're harmless enough. Be thankful they can sing!
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN BUN WLW, would you consider me to be a 'Zine legend yet? I did so from day one, matey boy.
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK As the world once more teeters on the brink of nuclear conflict, would you like the rest of this cupcake? It's got chocolate chips! Ooooh gimme... sorry, nuclear what?
POETRY CORNER
As a new 'Ziner, here's my contribution to the ever-growing Poetry Corner.
It's a haiku. About ducks.
Ducks sit on my roof
Quacking so they can annoy me
Then they steal my socks
In recognition of my talents, can I have a picture of an evil duck, WLW?
Bob Snitchet
The haiku was great —
THE DUCK, SADLY, NOT THAT EVIL!
'ZINERS
I don't know why it seems so hard for you to figure out, but it's painfully clear to me that WLW is a woman.
Being a woman myself, I know how the female mind works — either that or she's (I say this with confidence)... a mutated space monkey.
The Evil twin
Some would say that the female mind
DOESN'T WORK! NOT ME OF COURSE.
'ZINERS
Go to your door, that's the tall wooden rectangular-shaped object in the wall, and turn the circle in the centre corner clockwise.
Now, step through said door. You are now OUTSIDE. When outside, you can do things.
Use this revelation as you will.
moosesNOTmeese
Well I would, but it's
CHUCKING IT DOWN AT THE MOMENT
MY PAPER ROUND
I started a paper round last week — this is the list of things I hate:
- The colour of my hands when my round is complete.
- Stupid teeny letterboxes that can't handle the Harrow Times.
- Big huge alsatian dogs that aren't tied up.
- Houses with no numbers.
- Idiots who decided it was a good idea to buy a door with no letterbox!
The One That Chases The Moonlight (and delivers papers)
Surely the worst must be getting up
AT RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK!
IF 'ZINERS WERE CHARACTERS FROM FRIENDS:
| Rachel: | Little Silver Moonbaby |
| Monica: | Superman (he may be male but he has the same annoying sense of humour) |
| Phoebe: | She Who Lost The Plot |
| Joey: | Big Bob Flapper |
| Chandler: | Fluffy The Evil One |
| Ross: | The Brigadier |
| Gunther: | Me |
Pride of Popcorn
Duck: The Duck In The Hat and Chicken:
THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD!
ANIMALS
Do animals talk the language of the country they came from? Would a German shepherd dog bark at us in German?
And what about accents? Would a Highland heifer refer to itself as a 'coo'?
Think about it! Scary huh?
Coca Cola Junkie, with the monkey
Not scary, but interesting. Of course,
MAVIS CAN SPEAK 5 LANGUAGES ANYWAY
