The Mega-Zine Museum
May 27, 2002
ARMADILLO IN A FAN-ASSISTED OVEN Happiness is like wetting yourself. Everyone can see the signs, but only you can feel the warmth. Oh, that's lovely... put me right off me dinner.
LOOMINOUS FROOT Howse yur speling, WWL? Cleerlie knot az gud az yurs.
SILVAN DRACONIS Why do people look through the windows of houses when they walk past? Just what are they expecting to see? They do? Blimey — Davord, hand me those blinds I got from Argos.
'ZINE UNITED
With Parsley Possum as the star striker, Mortal Wombat as the midfield genius with the drinking problem, Skutter Bob as the dependable centre-back, team captain Jezza as the right-winger, Golden Bun as the team heart-throb, me as the goalkeeper ('cos I'm tall with big hands) and WLW as the manager who keeps us all in check...
Premier League or Unibond League?
Fluffy The Evil Footballer
I fear the Unibond League may be
SETTING OUR SIGHTS A LITTLE HIGH
CRISPY STUFF
Recently, I had a notion to think about what was my favourite type of crisps. The answers are as follows:
- Discos (pickled onion)
- McCoys (salt and vinegar)
- Quavers (salt and vinegar)
- Nik Naks (spicy)
- Monster Munch (pickled onion)
Now, that is one hell of a list. I love my crisps. WLW, any disagreements on that top five?
Big Bob Flapper
Sooooo many! Er... Wotsits (cheese)?
QUAVERS (CHEESE)? NIK NAKS (CHEESE)?
I AM CLAIRE!
What's wrong with the name Claire then, hmmmm? OK, so I hate it, but you're just not allowed to!
However... H and Claire are great evils to our society and must come to a slow and painful end.
Lilac Leopard
I think the 'slow and painful end'
HAS COME... IT'S CALLED 'DJ'
WAYS TO CHEAT IN AN EXAM:
- Write the answers on the inside of your eyelids.
- Put a piece of paper with the answers on in your belly button.
- Write the answers on your shirt in German. When asked, say it says: "I love exams."
- Write the answers on the invigilator's forehead when he's asleep.
The Little Silver Moonbaby
Or just threaten a brainy mate with
HOURS OF S CLUB JUNIORS ON REPEAT
STRAWBERRY SPLIT
What an utterly amazing concoction this is. What genius decided to mix a frozen strawberry juice/water solution with vanilla ice cream to form a deliciously refreshing junk-food snack? A man wiser than me, indeed.
Sold by "Obese Steve", these delectable lollies fail to disappoint on all counts and I advise you to buy one immediately.
=NiLiD=
They are THE Rolls-Royce end of the
LOLLY MARKET, TO BE SURE
LISTS
Since lists are so popular, here's mine of things I like... at this moment:
- "Them" — I won't reveal who, I mean, they don't even know yet
- Lemons
- Cheese on bread, drenched in ketchup
- Chips
- The Simpsons
Oh and WLW, you are quite funny... only sometimes mind. Unlike me, of course.
"i", The Hilarious
Sometimes? Only sometimes?
ACTUALLY, YEAH, GOOD POINT
OI WLW, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What have you done to this place? It's getting more and more like, dare I say it, Backsplat every day!
Where's the humour, lightheartedness and general wackiness that graced these pages all those years ago? These days it's all 'If 'Ziners were' lists and whingeing about not getting printed.
In fact, I wonder if you're even the same WLW that we had when I first started writing in! No wonder all the old great 'Ziners have disappeared.
Savage Cabbage
I need the tools to do the job, love —
YOU GET ME? JOLLY GOOD...
