The Mega-Zine Museum
May 26, 2002
THE LITTLE SILVER MOONBABY WLW, my bus driver just shut the bus door on me! Not in front of me, but actually on me, leaving me unable to move! Outrage! And they still won't bring back hanging.
SECLUDED RAINBOW WLW, I really like what you're doing with your hair! And no, this isnt a pathetic attempt at flattery to get on 'Zine! It isn't?
LOOMINOUS FROOT I'm not stressed, I just look like this when I can't cope any more. Boy, do I know that feeling!
PICTURE THE SCENE
You are on a boat in the middle of lake, the sun is setting behind the pine-covered mountains in the distance.
If you listen, you can hear the fish disturb the clear, smooth surface of the water and the call of a bird of prey as it circles over its next victim... and then some stupid action hero has to dive out from the trees, take aim, and blow up the boat!
That's life if you are a stunt double!
Jezza (In The Chilli Soup)
Honestly, I was just about
TO NOD OFF THERE...
WHERE'D HE GO?
Where has John Prescott gone? That big, loveable, violent, simple fat man? He was a joy to watch, waddling down the road, and under his eyes were bags so large that he almost tripped over them.
You don't get many politicians in the mould of wee John. I want him back. I reckon he should be Prime Minister.
You couldn't imagine him at a UN meeting though. He would just go round hitting people, preferably the French.
Big Bob Flapper
I, for one, do not miss him... afraid
OLD 'TWO JAGS' DON'T DO IT FOR ME
WLW
I'm not pleading with you or sucking up to you here, WLW. I just like to know the answer to a simple question: Why don't you print my letters? Be brutal!
- Because they are just too long?
- Because they don't make sense, and never have a point or reason to them?
- Because they are too controversial for the public to view?
- Because they bore you?
NiLiD (memorise!) NiLiD NiLiD NiLiD...
As if I'd ignore a letter because it
HAD NO POINT OR REASON TO IT!
DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK THAT...
- Auf Weidersen Pet should come subtitled?
- Lord Voldermort in the Harry Potter film looked like David Bowie?
- Fanta Fruit Twist is the best invention since the cliche?
- Will Young should go and fall down a well?
- I should be spending my time revising instead of compiling pointless lists?
The Despotic Banana
I fear the revising stage may have
PASSED YOU BY, YOUNG MAN
STUFF WE COULD LIVE WITHOUT
Football, spiders, B*ckch*t, text messaging, bad grammar, junk e-mails, South Park, TV soaps, pot pourri, exams, pointless lists, rappers, algebra, Harry Potter, trendies and Janet Street Porter... oh, and war, famine etc.
I'm sorry, but I find myself easily irritated. Why can't Room 101 be real?
What single thing annoys you most, WLW?
Insane Jam Sow
Sadly, I checked with the 'Zine lawyers
AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SAY!
HELP
Help me if you can, I'm falling down. I've got a ticket to ride, but I don't care and yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now, I wanna hold your hand!
So won't you please, please help me? I've had a Beatles overdose.
Lilac Leopard
Better a Beatles overdose than, say,
AN OASIS ONE — OR IS THAT THE SAME?
THERE IS AN AFTERLIFE!
On a boring Sunday afternoon, I realised exactly where B*ckch*tters go when they retire... the strange, evil world of Points Of View!
They turn their grovelling to a certain Mr Terry Wogan and, instead of letters expressing their outrage over S Club 7 becoming S Club, they progress to more pressing matters... the content of TV shows no-one watches, and changes to programme scheduling.
When will the world be safe from these people?
The Gingerbread Frog
We will never be safe until there is
LEGALISED CULLING OF THESE PEOPLE!
