Mega-Zine
Icon

May 20, 2002

TAKE MY HAND You know something, WLW, I hate being married to the Devil. He can be so possessive sometimes! Rarely a breeze blows though his gaff either!

SAPPHISTICATION My sister says Atomic Kitten have a song called It's OK. Who had the gall to tell them it was? Have you heard it? It's soooo not OK.

INSANE JAM SOW So, WLW, what was your IQ? 347! I'm not sure, but I think I went wrong somewhere along the line.

 

TEN THINGS WLW HATES:

  1. Manchester United
  2. Oasis
  3. Spiders
  4. Dr Pepper
  5. B*ckch*t
  6. Westlife
  7. Kim Dawson's pop collection on the office stereo
  8. Banana and Marmite sandwiches
  9. Big Brother

OK, so I ran out of ideas at the end!

The Gothic Womble

We could always make number 9

SO SOLID CREW... THAT WORKS FOR ME

 

LEEDS FESTIVAL

Well, we are now into the festival season so who's going to Leeds? I will be going with the unquestionably cool Mystical Doorknob.

So if anyone else is going, then pop by and say hello (unless you hate me).

You will know it's me by the Bob Marley flag flying high from a nearby tree (I might even hug it if you ask me nicely). Oh, and the fact that I will be there!

Jezza (The Tree Hugger)

Mystical Doorknob, cool?

TOO COOL TO WRITE TO MEGA ANY MORE?

 

CHARLOTTE CHURCH

I have a question about her — how on earth (or any other planet) did she win Rear of the Year? I mean, she sings. She faces the front. You don't see her rear. So how did people vote her Rear of the Year? Why?

Also, how come she's still around? She has at least four albums. Steps had four albums and they were unfortunately successful. She isn't, they were (emphasis on the word "were").

Oh well. That will be all.

Satan's Rubber Duck

Well, because she... the reason was...

ER... OH ALL RIGHT, GIVE UP, DUNNO

 

REMOTES

Remote controls are fantastic. Here are some fun things you can do with them:

  1. Walk into a shop and point one at the staff saying "ZAP!"
  2. Get a chum, go to a crowded place, and point remotes at each other pretending to be rewound and ejected.
  3. Make a hat for your remote control.
  4. Stamp on your remote control in a fit of rage.

1929

Alternatively, though a trifle wacky,

YOU COULD CHANGE CHANNELS WITH THEM

 

MANKY HORRIBLE NAMES THAT SHOULD BE CONSIGNED TO THE MANKY HORRIBLE NAME BIN OF HISTORY:

  • Brad
  • Brett
  • Chad
  • Junior
  • Duane
  • Wayne

No room for argument is there?

The Despotic Banana

Throw in Chuck, Chas and Dale

AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A LIST!

 

DIFFERENT STROKES

Could this possibly be the best TV show EVER?

Think about it... it ran for nine years, was based in the USA (obviously a good point) and it featured that little bloke with his classic one liners like: "What you talkin' about, Willis?" and... well, you get the idea.

In honour of this, WLW, draw a picture of Gary Coleman... or are you chicken?

Drawing of a red chicken head.

hewhocannotbenamed

Voila, a chicken! So, whaddaya think?

WAIT, READ THAT ALL WRONG, SORRY!

 

MY TOP 10 TOP FEMALES

  1. The Queen
  2. Ann Widdecombe
  3. Holly Valance
  4. Trisha Goddard
  5. Margaret Thatcher
  6. Kate Adie
  7. Jordan
  8. Cherie Blair
  9. Judy Finnigan
  10. Kim Dawson

The Brigadier

There will be an on-site counsellor for

ANY LADIES MISSING FROM THIS LIST