The Mega-Zine Museum
May 12, 2002
SUBATOMIC GENIUS WLW, I hope you're not a fan of Jools Holland and his boogie woogie piano playing? Dear Lord, no!
GALDER WEATHERWAX'S HAT It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just a game; find the eye. Remember kids — don't try this at home.
MISS WORLD WLW, if two 'Ziners sent the same thing, who would you print? You.
PABLO MARMITE If two 'Ziners sent the same thing, who would you print? You.
DEAR BLUE PENGUIN OF DESPAIR
Greetings. I am Dark Grey Norbex's lawyer. I would like to point out Section CA, Code 2, Level 3, Verse 10 of Norbex Law:
"Anyone who steals copyright of a name is liable to be sued for all the money they have and have their home planet laid to waste."
Thank you, have a good day.
Alfalfa The Lawyer
Grey Wolf? Blue Penguin?
CAN'T SEE IT MYSELF
THINGS THAT JINGLE:
- Sleigh bells
- Morris dancers (Aaargh!)
- Cat bells
- Noddy's hat
- Windchimes
- Cow bells
- Broken stuff in boxes
- Er... assorted bell-type objects
Jingle
Struggling a bit when we have to list
THINGS THAT JINGLE!
RECIPES
Today children, I shall make THE best cheese on toast.
First, get a piece of white crust.
Lightly brown the crust under grill, turn over and put on sliced orange cheese.
Replace under grill until cheese bubbles seductively.
Remove.
Draw tomato ketchup smiley face.
Best consumed with chilled orange juice.
Captain Trips
I'm a Worcester sauce fan
WHEN IT COMES TO CHEESE ON TOAST
MY MOTHER
My mum was explaining her summer and winter wardrobes to me.
She has identical black pants, black shoes and turtlenecks for winter. And her summer wardrobe consists of identical cream pants, tan shoes and t-shirts.
When I'm older she says I won't care about wearing different clothes every day. Yeah, right!
Jeffery Pig
Mums, eh?
YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM
SOS!
I've just had a horrible thought. You know all those people who come along claiming they are going to save 'Zine?
Well, remember a certain Andrew WK? He claimed he was the saviour of rock — and look what he's become!
If anyone claims they're here to save 'Zine, slam the door in their face and tell them it doesn't need saving, as it's probably Andrew WK.
Jezza (The Tree Hugger)
I heard he was stacking shelves
AT TESCO IN LEWISHAM
I'M BACK!
I've decided my vocation is not to join a Bavarian oompah band. I much prefer infiltrating these fine pages with my incoherent ramblings.
You've guessed. My computer is fixed now. Shout it from the rooftops: I'm back!
Did you all miss me then? Nah, thought not.
Sweet Smell Of Psychosis
You've been away? Really?
BLIMEY — MY MEMORY, EH?
ARMY MADNESS
The drummer in my dad's band (a serious metalhead, while my dad's band plays old Beatles songs) got hold of an army truck and drove it through my village.
He honked the horn at me and I asked what he was doing in said vehicle.
He replied: "I'm taking over the village!" much to my amusement.
Crazy guy.
Frank The Potato
Crazy and somewhat disturbing...
KEEP WELL AWAY, I SAY
