The Mega-Zine Museum
April 22, 2002
SCHIZONUMBER3 Now, do I do some work or do I send more pointless e-mails? Decisions, decisions. Pointless e-mails are the way forward. Let someone else do all the work, I say.
BIG BOB FLAPPER How much do you get paid for being WLW, WLW? Paid? It's a labour of love. No, really.
SUBATOMIC GENIUS WLW, when is the best time to book an appointment with Dr Nick, or does he not do that sort of thing? Mondays, around midnight.
BLIND DATE
It's just fantastic! I mean, you get Cilla Black, three people who think they are outrageously good looking yet can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend and one little garage-listening, Nova-driving, greasy-haired goon from Essex... what more could you want?
And then, to top off a great show, they're sent to Wales for a weekend and taught how to fish for stones. Brilliant. Monty Python? Pah!
Kellogulation
It never disappoints, does it? And
THERE'S ALWAYS A SAD 'PERFORMER'!
MY TOP 5 LIST OF ANNOYING TV PEOPLE:
- Terry Wogan (What can I say? Just plain annoying)
- Richard Whiteley (Rubbish jokes which only make him laugh, and tragic ties)
- Richard Bacon (Cheesy, cheeky and downright rude, tut tut tut!)
- David Dickinson (AKA Bargain Hunt Man, false tan, haircut to die for!)
- Konnie Huq (Blue Peter, do you need a reason? I mean, come on!)
Spicy Noodle and sidekick
Spunky Monkey
You forgot Dale... surely NOBODY is
MORE ANNOYING? 'CEPT MAYBE H
'ZINERS
I would like to announce the arrival of my two new 'pets': Norman, the Venus Flytrap and Cactus, the Cactus.
Cactus likes to sit in the sun and do very little, as does Norman, although it would be nice if he caught some flies.
Right now, they don't seem to be socialising much with each other, or with Candi (my cat), or all the Ernests (goldfish) but I'm sure they will soon.
I'll keep you all posted as I know you're interested.
Miss World
You should set up a webcam so we can
REALLY GET INVOLVED IN THEIR LIVES!
THE CHUCKLE BROTHERS
I have decided that these two mulleted anti-wonders are made of pure evil. Not Richard and Judy evil, but something far worse.
I have devised a plan but I require your permission to remove the Chuckle Brothers, WLW, so... can I have it?
If not, a piccie would be good.
The Suited Stranger
You sooooo have my permission... enjoy
THE PIC OF SOMETHING THAT IS FUNNY!
WLW
Was that 'yadda yadda' on April 14 a Seinfeld reference? I remember the topic coming up before, but I don't remember what you said about it.
Surely you of all people (despite not liking the Manics) must appreciate the genius of this greatest of all comedies? After all, Jerry Seinfeld is a funny guy!
The Torture Garden
He's a comedy genius, funny guy,
LAUGH A MINUTE, YADDA YADDA...
BO SELECTA
I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank 1929 for his kind words of support during what has been a very difficult time for me.
Sometimes, at night, I just rock to and fro dribbling spit, but his letter gave me hope for the future!
So, to all those against me, I say "shepherds pie with extra jam!"
The Man With The Golden Bun
Rocking to and fro, dribbling spit,
IS NOT AN ATTRACTIVE LOOK
AN IRKSOME COMPLAINT
I understand that there is a motion picture released called The Scorpion King, starring a former wrestler who goes by the name of The Rock.
This is an absolute disgrace! Did this neanderthal go to drama school? Has he graced the stage of The Royal Shakespeare Company? Was his Leontes in The Winter's Tale at Stratters rapturously received?
Hackles are up.
The Brigadier
Keep well away, kids. Don't feed him,
DON'T GIVE HIM ANY MONEY
