The Mega-Zine Museum

March 27, 2002

SOAP SUD Umbrellas. Possibly the greatest evil in the world. Anyone else agree? When some git nearly pokes my eye out in the street, yes!

PESSIMISTIC PEANUT Did you know that if you go into a cupboard and open an envelope very fast, you get a flash of light? Years of practice. Hold on... OK, who's nicked all my envelopes? Davord?

SPANKY SPANKERTON Doesn't Alicia Keys have the NICEST elbows you have ever seen? I think so! Er... well, OK then.

NAMES

I have noticed one Superman's letters being printed on 'Zine. This must be put to an end. Not only does Superman not exist, but the letters reek of a nine-year-old with far too much time.

We all know that there is only one superhero worth a mention, and that's Flapper Man.

What a geezer!

Bob Flapper

Flapper Man? Who he? Does he fight evil

BY DOING A BIZARRE 1920s DANCE?

LONDON MEETING

WLW, we are coming to get yooouuu! On Friday, March 29, a group of around 20 or so 'Ziners are going to descend on WLW Towers bearing gifts of chocolate and lemon Fanta for you.

It's a Friday so you should be at work. Is there anything else that you would like us to bring for you?

Fluffy The Evil One

Darn, it's Easter! Won't be here,

BE UP TO MY EYES IN CHOCCIE EGGS

MOULD

Let's hear it for mould. It's great stuff 'coz it's green (second best colour ever) and it grows everywhere, like on my dad's car or on the shed or on old cheese.

There was some growing on the ceiling of the French rooms at school and when the rooms were redecorated, they didn't even bother scraping the mould off... they just painted over it! Now we have white mould shapes on the ceiling.

Is WLW Towers mouldy?

Loominous Froot

Well, it is a trifle damp here —

NEEDS A GOOD SPRING CLEAN

IF 'ZINERS WERE SONGS BY OASIS:

Little Blue Fox

I have no desire to live forever,

OR HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OASIS

LOLLY

Has anyone else noticed that one of the new CBBC presenters is none other than pop princess Lolly? She's going by the name of Anna these days and she's far less squeaky and fluorescent than she was — but she can't fool me!

I suppose this means there will be a follow-up album. This is quite tragic, yet we still have S Club 7 and the pop goddess that is Kylie...

The (Un)Domestic Goddess

Is this true? Is she back? Some people

JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT, EH?

DEAR WLW

This one is especially for King Of The Telegraph Poles.

Picture the scene. You and me on a beach, cooking breakfast on a small fire enclosed in a circle of stones. I play guitar as you stir the sausages.

The sun is coming up but it's cold. I have your jumper on but you're freezing, despite the fire...

The Snorkmistress

It's pure 'Made-For-TV' stuff — can we

GET JACLYN SMITH ON THE PHONE?

NIGEL

I have a friend called Nigel, he sits all day on the back of my bag, taking in the wonders of Kent. But Nigel is no ordinary boy, oh no, he is Zippy from Rainbow's offspring!

Sadly, due to a bitter custody battle, Nigel rarely gets to see his dad.

Would it be possible for you to stretch your artistic talents to drawing Zippy? It would make Nigel very happy.

Uneducated Shampoo

I tried and tried... but failed, sorry.

IT LOOKED MORE LIKE GEORGE!

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