The Mega-Zine Museum

February 26, 2002

THE DESPOTIC BANANA Life is like a Ferrari: it's too fast, but that's OK because you can't afford it anyway. As my bank manager will testify.

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT I could write a letter to 'Zine but the problem is I don't have anything remotely interesting to say. Don't worry — it's never been a problem before.

THE ONE WITH LITTLE SIGNIFICANCE I have it! The ultimate oxymoron of ultimate oxymorons — Pop Idol! We have a winner!

POETRY CORNER

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour

The Multicoloured Plectrum Eater

Now THIS is the kinda thing we want —

ALL GROWN UP AND DEEP

HAIKU CORNER

I would like to point out that Mr Chicken and Sir Whence Pitchfork are both wrong. A haiku consists of SEVENTEEN syllables, in the 5-7-5 formation, and should run thus:

Satanic Pot Plant
Just about to eat some cheese
After she has sneezed

Finally, the problem has been solved.

Satanic Pot Plant

Finally? I have a feeling

THIS MIGHT NOT BE THE END OF IT!

DEPRESSING PHILOSOPHY

Is the human mind capable of creativity?

Of plucking faces from the crowd and, instead of placing them in pre-marked pigeonholes, distinguishing one from another with the intensity to create new situations, never before imagined tableaux of mingled characters and scenarios?

Or is perceived asexuality just another form of rejection?

Socialist Guerrilla

Dunno, but Creme Eggs — more chocolate,

LESS FILLING THIS YEAR? I THINK SO

TO WHOEVER'S LISTENING

I went to see a friend at Cambridge Uni the other day and thought I'd test the stereotypes.

Yes, there were a lot of people saying, "Rah, rah, rah." Everyone was carrying a book under their arm. The alcohol is VERY cheap. The locals are very bitter.

I also noticed a new stereotype — you can always spot a Cambridge student by the excessive amount of scarf-wearing in unnecessary places. 'Tis true.

The Talented Mr Kipling

Good and thorough research, Mr K.

NOW GO TO OXFORD AND REPORT BACK

WHAT IF 'ZINERS WERE...

On Father Ted

Belfast Boy

Ah, go on...

WHY CAN'T I BE FATHER JACK?

COUNTDOWN CLOCK

WLW and 'Ziners. The reason the clock has one minute on it is that when creating the show, they couldn't decide how long to make each round.

To meet the schedule, the props department made a one-minute clock. Then, when the time was decided (30 secs), the second half was never used.

Mashedpotato

You know what's scary?

THAT YOU KNOW THIS AT ALL!

'ZINERS

I was listening to the radio the other day and the DJ said:

"If you haven't heard of this band, then you must be from the planet Tharg."

This can mean only two things. Either the DJ is a 'Ziner or WLW has been moonlighting as a DJ!

So, which is it?

Polly's Cracker

Could've been Davord. He's spun then

EATEN A FEW CHOONS IN HIS TIME

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