The Mega-Zine Museum
November 23—24, 2001
TOADETTE OF TOAD HALL Y'know what I'd really like to see? Someone MC-ing (or however you spell it) in Welsh! That is too hideous to contemplate.
GOTHIC RAEVEN Why is it that the blokes you fancy regard you as a mate and the trendy Kevs try to chat you up? It's so not right! Always the way, innit?
LADY PATRICIA OF THE GARDEN SHED I just thought I'd send you a big hug, WLW. It must be hard trawling through all those e-mails. You have nooooo idea!
WLW'S CAR
I have seen WLW's car. I knew it was WLW's because of the personalised registration: WLW 1.
I also saw the person in the car: a mid-40s bald man in a suit. Surely this isn't you?
Someone must have borrowed or stolen your car. Trust no-one.
Private Investigator: Zertrude Trout
Mid-40s bald man in a suit?
NAH, NEVER WEAR A SUIT, ME!
AN ODE TO VACUUM CLEANERS
(my contribution to poetry corner)
Your sucking powers blow me away
I want to vacuum my floor today
You are the suckiest of all things
Much much suckier than onion rings
A lot of symbolism, effort and metaphorical thinking went into this.
Do I get an A, WLW?
Intoxicated Spring
Well, how do I put this... you know
WITHOUT BEING OFFENSIVE?
WLW AND MAVIS,
I thought I'd enlighten you about my demented cat. She is cross-eyed, kinda fat, runs into doors, she's scared of her reflection in the water bowl and has fits where she attacks everything in sight!
She's having one now: she's trying to catch invisible flies and has convinced herself there are mice down the back of the sofa.
What do you think, Mavis?
Anxious Aardvark
Mavis raised her head slightly, just to
SAY THAT YOUR MOGGIE IS BONKERS
HELLO EVERYONE
I'm quite depressed at the moment. You see, I'm addicted to Polos (the original ones, although the others are great too). A three packet a day habit!
It's a common problem. Two friends of mine are addicted and another just gave up.
We 'Ziners should form a support group. I can't be the only one?
The Psycho Little Voices
The only one
I KNOW OF!
MY IDEA FOR A NOVEL
Norman Radcliffe looks exactly like Keith Chegwin. One day he decides to exploit this.
He commits unspeakable crimes (bank robbery, fraud, impersonating Chelsea pensioners) and several hundred witnesses point the finger of guilt firmly at poor Keith.
Keith Chegwin is locked up, the key's thrown away and everyone's happy.
Parsley Possum
Sounds good — that It's A Knockout
WAS A CRIME IN ITSELF
SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK
No, no, no... you know you've done wrong. Seinfeld is an awful, awful programme. It's about as funny as reading messages from the Golden Bunned one and WLW, you like it too? You of all people!
If you draw me something nice, I'll let you off.
Lemming Curd
Check it out — it's Mavis!
WELL... SORT OF
HEY, WLW,
I thought I'd write to save you from the hordes of pretentious newbies.
There's a question that's been bugging me for a while... what on earth do they use the other half of the Countdown clock for?
Pablo Marmite
Well, until now, I didn't care —
NOW IT'S BUGGING ME TOO!
