Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

November 20, 2001

HANDYMANNEQUIN Hey there, WLW, my sarcastic bundle of luv and stuff! Well, that's all I have to say! I see, well thanks anyway.

THE CORNFLAKE KID Just a random thought, why do crabs walk sideways? When they start walking in a straight line, you know they've been drinking!

SECLUDED RAINBOW Noooo! Ant and Dec are leaving SMTV! What will I do with my life now? Sleep in later on Saturdays. Nothing to wake up for now.

A NEW TV SHOW

It's called "Poptarts" and focuses on the lives of five Pop Tarts, two chocolate and three strawberry. Every week, one of them will be voted off and eaten by Vanessa Feltz, to add tension.

The one remaining Pop Tart will be fed to Davord. The lives of five inanimate additive-filled jammy things will, I hope, prove to be more interesting than Popstars, Soapstars and Pop Idol. I am hoping ITV will be interested.

Milton and Me

Well, there's a good chance, I mean —

BLIND DATE'S BACK ON, ISN'T IT?

THINGS I WISH HADN'T BEEN INVENTED

Anne Robinson
School
B*ckch*t
Garlic
Rolf Harris
Neighbours
Any Japanese cartoon ending in 'mon'
Reebok Classics
Hear'Say, Spice Girls, Charlotte Church etc
People who say Zena is spelt with an X (oh wait, it is... oops).

Satan's Rubber Duck

I'd like to add Limp Bizkit, spiders

AND DALE WINTON. THANK YOU.

LOVELY 'ZINEYS,

I have returned from a long absence from 'Zine to discuss my love of Ribena (as WLW has recently claimed to be a fan).

Such a kewl drink (and I don't think kewl is used often enough on the 'Zine). That lovely purple colour. And so much sugar, it's the only thing that gets me through the day. And it's so much better than Dandelion and Burdock.

This served no purpose really, except to talk about my love of Ribena, and hopefully get printed.

Fizzy Kizzy

I'm quite into Strawberry Ribena now —

AND LEMON FANTA, OBVIOUSLY

MANCHESTER MEETING

Yes, that's right, there's another one! It's on January 26, 2002 and, as always, everybody and their grandma is invited to turn up. The more the merrier!

The York and Birmingham meetings were great and this one will be too... well, it's got to be better than the London meeting 'cos only two people bothered to turn up!

Fluffy The Evil One

That's London for you, but my grandma

IS VERY EXCITED ABOUT MANCHESTER!

WLW,

I know I'm only new (although I've been reading 'Zine for ages), but I was wondering if you could PLEASE print this letter on November 19... because it's my birthday!

If you did, it would be the best birthday present in the world (at least I'm not asking for a picture of a birthday cake!).

Polly's Cracker

Missed it by a day — sorry! However,

PLEASE ACCEPT THIS LOVELY TEAPOT

I CHALLENGE YOU ALL

At this moment in time I am a nameless 'Ziner. I sit here without any form of identity, which is where you guys come in!

All I ask is for a fantastic 'Zine name. In return, I will provide Lemon Fanta for WLW, catnip for Mavis and for the rest of you, my secret anti-Limp B*z*it formula — closely linked to Tony the Tiger's secret Frosties formula. Reason in itself!

C'mon WLW, you get the ball rolling...

[insert name here]

Blimey, I dunno, what about

BRUCIE FORSYTH'S HAIRPIECE? NO?

HI WLW,

Nobody on here has nominated Audenshaw for the world's most boring town. Well, I'm probably the only non-scally therein apart from old people, so that doesn't surprise me.

Anybody like shopping in a grotty precinct with less than 10 shops? Maybe passionate about sitting on concrete bollards and chatting?

Football by sneaking onto the primary school playing fields, anyone? Jumble sale at the Methodist Church?

Help this town!

Sapphistication

It sounds to me like it may be

TOO LATE TO HELP AUDENSHAW

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