The Mega-Zine Museum

October 29, 2001

SAVAGE CABBAGE Put my name down for Fear'Slay! I'll be the really tarty one with all the make-up, wearing a skimpy dress and having no talent whatsoever! So you'd be, like, the Kym Marsh one?

COCA COLA JUNKIE Near Stoke Newington, there's a hairdressers called "It Will Grow Back". Hmmm...not very inspiring, is it? Not exactly, no.

LEMMING CURD As far as I'm concerned, cheese will always be the fruit of all evil. No, that would be mushrooms.

DARK BLUE PENGUIN OF DESPAIR

What have you got against us girlies? How can guitars be better? What have we ever done to you?

Here's MY list:

1. I personally am far more versatile than any guitar!
2. Girls are better kissers than guitars.
3. I'm more fun to hang about with.
4. Guitars are tacky.

Do you live anywhere near Crawley, by chance?

Headless Chicken

Wahey, Pengy! I think the Headless One

HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE TO YOU!

OI WLW, NOOOOOO!

I've had just about enough of your disrespect towards me and my team. Enough is enough, it's time to dish out your punishment.

In case you haven't figured it out already, I'm the Lord of the Underworld — that's right, a Spurs supporter.

Stop attacking my team or I shall be forced to torture you with the Steps: Greatest Hits album that I keep in my torture cupboard, along with Westlife and a1 albums.

You have been warned.

Spawn Of Scutter

Aaaaah, ickle a1 — bless 'em...

THEY'RE HARMLESS ENOUGH

PARSLEY POSSUM

I remember dandelion and burdock as well. Doesn't it taste like that foul concoction called Dr Pepper? Truly foul stuff!

I seem to remember being told when I was younger that touching dandelions made you wet the bed, or something.

This was probably made up, just like when people say Santa is your parents dressed up. Everyone knows he's real.

Fluffy The Evil One

Er... Fluffy, mate, sit down —

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU...

WHY IS AN EGG YOLK YELLOW?

Well, obviously it has to be yellow. If it was white, you wouldn't be able to separate the yolk from the white, so it would be a bit pointless.

It could be red or blue or green or pink.... but who's ever seen a yolk in any of those colours?

Miss World

And who would seriously WANT to eat

AN EGG WITH YOLKS IN THOSE COLOURS?

SOME SIMPLE TIPS TO GET PRINTED:

1. Moan about how your letters are never printed.
2. Rant about long lost 'Ziners, such as Plughole, Davord etc.
3. Make a list
4. Insult WLW
5. Give a bribe to WLW
6. Put the name "Parsley Possum" under whatever you write.

Tried, tested and they work!

Yellow Jello

Raspberries to you, matey!

ANOTHER THEORY BLOWN OUT THE WATER!

THE HALIBUT SONG

I live like a halibut
You live like a halibut
We live like a halibut
Swim, eat, swim and eat
That's the way the halibuts play
I say, no way
Today is halibut day

Bob Bob The Bob

Henceforth, October 29th shall be

KNOWN AS... 'HALIBUT DAY'

DEAREST WLW

I have kindly put my name forward to take over from you when you sadly depart for retirement. After all, being 254 years of age, I think that you have earned yourself a break.

So, when do I start? Next Tuesday suits me, you?

The Cornflake Kid

Suits me fine. Mavis is always moaning

THAT I NEVER SPEND TIME WITH HER

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