The Mega-Zine Museum

October 14, 2001

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I'm having a crisis! My mum looks like Victoria Wood and my dad looks like Ned Flanders. Is it time for me to panic? If you've started to look like Dale Winton, yes.

PLUGHOLE FANTASY The sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts. And the saddest songs are those by Hear'Say. 'Tis true — I done research.

PINK MAFIA In these turbulent times, it's good to have something you can rely on... like Crunchies! I'll say.

WLW

What did you mean by "the jury is still out" as to whether or not it was actually me or scummy B*ckch*t?

I feel kinda hurt 'cos you should know me well enough to know that I would never write to B*ckch*t. It is obviously an imposter.

I have been on there a few times now, and it's funny. But whoever is doing it... please stop now!

Fluffy The Evil One

Of course I didn't think it was you —

BUT WHEN I FIND OUT WHO IT IS...

MY DEAREST WLW

Seeing as you come from Dundee, like my mum, does this mean that you can't say yes?

Everytime we go to visit relatives there, my mum starts using her Dundee accent, causing her to say "oh, eh" instead of "yes".

She also pronounces apple pie as "ehpplle peh". I find it most disturbing.

Lady Feinnes

I find Tharkian works best in Dundee —

THEY ARE UNCANNILY SIMILAR ANYWAY

DUDES 'N' DUDETTES

New 'ultimate oxymoron' alert!

Whilst looking at Mates, p147 (not that I don't have lots of my own already... cough cough), I saw a letter that ended with the sentence "looks not important, photo?"

Come on now, give it up for the winner! I demand a large chocolate cake as my reward, along with the entire back catalogue of Rainbow on video.

Wise Fruitcake

I love the ones that say "into Eminem

AND WESTLIFE"... I MEAN, EXCUSE ME

DEAR 'ZINE

Oh, how I used to love Saturday mornings when Mind Bites was on. How could anyone resist the little yellow hopping brain followed by the set of chattering teeth?

Fond memories. Why isn't it on any more? Saturdays are not the same.

Never mind, I can always dream of Lon Chaney Sr.

Ted Browning's Little Freak

Hopping brain? Chattering teeth?

THINK I MUST'VE BEEN ASLEEP

ARMISTICE FOR THE HEART

The brain obsesses
When the soul turns away
And the mind is visited
By dreams in the night

The body feels nothing
But the need for you
Now nothing feels right
And you have your internal fight

Spare a thought for me
When your time is free

Lucozade Lover

I'm starting to sense that all is not

SWEETNESS AND LIGHT IN LUCOZADE LAND

DEAR FLUFFY PERSONAGE

I've thought of more things you can do in Wolverhampton:

1. Go to Cheeky Monkey night at the Civic Hall
2. Go to work (yawn)
3. Miss the train to Euston
4. Study 'that' horse
5. Thank your lucky stars that you don't live there

The Beautiful Stone Hippo

OK, so who's gonna tell me what happens

AT 'CHEEKY MONKEY' NIGHT??

5 THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN BUT DID ANYWAY...

1. Liquorice Allsorts
2. My pencil sharpenings collection (which will now fill a dumper truck)
3. My friend sticking his head in a photocopier with his eyes open and then walking about dazed for the next 3 days
4. Jelly Babies being packaged with their heads already decapitated
5. Limp Bizkit, Steps, B*ckch*t etc...

Demented Wheelie Bin from Hell

And Tottenham Hotspur 'Football' Club —

I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

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