The Mega-Zine Museum

September 16, 2001

INSOMNIAC BARBIE Are there any 'Ziners from anywhere around Norwich? Helloooooooooo? Anyone? Don't be silly.

GALDER WEATHERWAX'S HAT New school year. Everything right is wrong again. And it's raining. Does it GET any worse?

HANDYMANNEQUIN Could someone tell me what lazy means, 'cos I can't be bothered to look it up. Let me just get my trusty dictionary. Nope, can't reach it, too high up, can't be bothered.

'ZINERS

They say that you shouldn't stand under a tree in a thunderstorm. But why is this? Because the tree could fall on you? Because you might get electrocuted?

And what do you do if you're in the middle of a forest during a thunderstorm? Run around screaming? Stand still and get squashed or fried?

So many questions...

The Despotic Banana

Move to Gran Canaria, I say —

VERY FEW TREES, LOTS OF SUN!

WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

1. A heatwave in the Antarctic (it's cold down here y'know!)
2. Seafood to play in my local pub
3. A starring role in Parsley's movie
4. Shirley Manson
5. 10 tons of herring (mmmmm fish!)

Be kind Santa, my chubby polar buddy!

The Dark Blue Penguin Of Despair

You have a local pub? In the Antarctic?

THE SLUG AND IGLOO?

A COOL KID

As the newest and coolest 'Ziner, I shall of course be the topic of much discussion ('tis true).

But, when contemplating an ingenious nickname, I realised that 'Zine already has a frog, gorilla, lemon, haggis, potato, dragon, a couple of psychos and a plughole. What was I to do?

Styluskid

Styluskid, like it...

NOT EXACTLY INGENIOUS, BUT LIKE IT

CATS ARE BETTER THAN...

Part 2: Girls because...

1. Cats don't make you pay the bill
2. Cats don't run around shrieking and giggling
3. Cats don't drag you into New Look
4. You can have more than one cat

Dragonwood

And cats sleep all day which means —

WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY (OR ASLEEP)...

WATERCOLOUR CHALLENGE

Until now, it has just been about three makeshift artists painting old cottages and other rural retreats. But not any more...

We can host our own Watercolour Challenge, with WLW as the presenter, three desperate 'Ziners to be contestants and Davord as the subject. We can call it Watercolour Davord.

So, if you are sad and want to take part — with a chance to win a pair of Nike trainers — send your entries to WLW.

Nemesis

You know, I'd love to help,

BUT I'M BUSY ON THAT DAY!

'ZINERS

I don't know whether to laugh or cry! This is the second time my name has been used on B*ckch*t, but the letter was so funny I think I'll let it pass.

Whoever thought of the line "Westlife and Five are cool bands who make cool music" is a comic genius, who deserves celebrity status and possibly an OBE.

The kind of person who reads B*ckch*t probably has the memory of a goldfish anyway, so I'm not too bothered.

Parsley Possum

The kind of person who reads B*ckch*t?

THAT WOULD BE YOU THEN, EH???

MAGIC KEY SHOES

Who remembers Magic Key shoes? You got them from Clarkes.

They came with a plastic key and, if you put the key in the sole of the shoe, these tiny slides of this princess would go round.

I had pink shoes and thought they were the best shoes in the world, then I lost the key... and life has never been the same again.

The Gingerbread Frog

I am somewhat relieved to say... I have

NO IDEA WHAT YER TALKING ABOUT

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