The Mega-Zine Museum
September 6, 2001
AL THE AFRO TAMER Does anyone else think Slash of Guns'n'Roses fame is fit? No, that would be just you.
PURPLE FURRY AUBERGINE Clones are people two. People TWO? Yes, I geddit — most amusing. Go and lie down.
SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT To be without 'Zine for 10 days is like losing a loved one, or maybe just a slightly likable one, or the death of a pet fish. Now that I have suffered this, I truly know what loss is. Welcome back!
DUMBO
I watched Dumbo today just because I hadn't seen it for like, seven years, and I was amazed how relevant it still is today.
The heart-warming tale is all about a poor misfit called Jumbo Junior who's ridiculed by everyone for being different, due to his massive ears. But he showed everyone by... well, I don't want to give away the ending, but trust me, all of you should watch it NOW!
The DimGirl (from the molehole)
It's a luvverly flick, for sure —
AND THE CROWS WERE QUITE GOTH-LIKE
LISTEN UP
Today, I thought I saw a spider flying in my bedroom. Then I realised spiders can't normally fly. Also, on closer inspection, I realised it only had six legs!
With even closer inspection, however, I realised it wasn't a spider at all — it was a fly!
So, if you think you see a six-legged spider buzzing round yer room — it's a fly!
The Man With The Golden Bun
Mavis brought in a bat the other day —
A BAT, IF YOU PLEASE! VERY SATANIC
'ZINERS
I was once an unfortunate inhabitant of Grimsby. I can tell you, it deserves its name. But I broke free.
I am now happily living in a quaint village called Gotham, Nottinghamshire. Oh, sweet Nottingham. I love you for Ice Nine, Pitchshifter, V1 and er... many other things.
Cinammon Spider
Gotham? Really?
BATMAN WILL BE SO PROUD
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
Banana sarnies! Does anyone else share my addiction to these culinary marvels? I mean, they are so versatile. You can have them alone or with peanut butter or anything you want!
Le Enfant Terrible — do you have any suggestions as to how I can make this simple sarnie into a three-course dinner party?
With love and bananas,
Sneaky Tramp
Oooh... banana sarnies with gerkhin
AND LIVER... NO? JUST ME THEN
WLW
Are you finding it difficult to keep track of all these ambitiously long pseudonyms people have been using lately? Surely my beautifully short and original name is a breath of fresh air?
And, just to add some extra enigma, I think I'll follow suit and keep my gender a secret. But trust me, you've got a 50% chance.
1929
ps: PLEASE tell me you're a Pixies fan
I reckon you're male, 6'2", green hair
AND WEAR SPECS — SO, CLOSE OR NOT?
ME ME ME ME ME
| Name: | Jingle |
| Age: | Too old, yet not quite old enough |
| Preference: | Males |
| Marital Status: | Single, not looking but not blind |
| Reside: | A random valley, near the wonderfully boring Kev-infested town of High Wycombe |
| Likes: | Radiohead, confusing people with random and/or meaningful questions. |
| Hates: | Optimists, people who have three stripes permanently down each limb. |
| Mental Status: | Still in my trolley |
Jingle
High Wycombe? Oh dear... let us all
TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK GOD
'ZINERS
What in the name of Sweet Baby Jesus was God thinking of when he made the humble baboon?
I mean, I get bored, but God must've been out of his omnipresent mind when he thought, "Hey, I know what I'll do to relieve the tedium... I'll create a new species. Hmmm... yes... a monkey, with a blue and red butt!"
Being a personal friend of a number of baboons, I'm gonna say that I'm now an atheist.
Afro Cop: LeRoy Brown
Good for you. Not enough people
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