Mega-Zine
Icon

August 6, 2001

NOZ, THE CRAZY CAT If walls have ears, do doors have eyes? Let's see... no!

POLYTHENE When your best mate calls you a mushy pea and says she wants to eat you... what do you do? Get yourself a new best mate... fast!

QUEEN OF THE TROUBLED TEENS Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? It's a jolly interesting idea — Mavis has long been petitioning Whiskas et al.

 

10 THINGS THAT KEEP ME SANE (In no particular order):

  1. 'Zine
  2. WLW
  3. Ipecac Records
  4. All you lovely fellow nutcases
  5. Teletext
  6. Ipecac message board
  7. Mike Patton
  8. Kurt Cobain
  9. Chocolate
  10. '80s TV shows

Her Who Has Faith No More

Got a job with Ipecac?

SOUNDS A BIT SUSPICIOUS TO ME

 

ALL THE POINTLESS THINGS

Wow, 12th Lemon! Quiggins and the flea market are so kewl! So is Affleck's in Manchester!

And WLW, you may not have printed my letters but I'm gonna keep on annoying you!
And Parsley, I don't think you're that bad.
And Fred The Evil One, I'm a big fan!
And Le Enfant Terrible... er... I've run out of things to say.

Over to you, WLW.

The Gingerbread Frog

And how excitable am I? And, like, oh —

I'VE RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY, TOO

 

SCHOOL

We have caretakers that look like wrestlers. We have a big, bald one with a goatee that looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin, an oldish one with white hair (Rick Flare) and a Latino-looking one (Eddie Guerrero).

Oh, and I have a science teacher who traded a goat for a lap-top computer. Weird.

Le Enfant Terrible

Well, I, for one, will NOT be

OPENING YER NEXT SCHOOL FETE!

 

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS...

Chocolate, Chelsea FC, Affleck's Palace in Manchester,
Catatonia, Next, customising bags, Dubai, WLW,
the colour blue, Diva magazine, Blur, the Conservative Party,
gel pens, playing practical jokes, Manchester gay village,
horoscopes, strange ice cream flavours, antiquarian bookshops,
Alisha's Attic and my unrequited love.

Sapphistication

Yes, all well and good, but the

CHELSEA THING — DEFINITE NO-NO!

 

WLW AND ALL 'ZINERS

I have noticed that one very trusty member of 'Zine has disappeared... Jarvis T Raven.

Has he been kidnapped or banished from 'Zine for ever for wearing his Scooby Doo top?

If anyone knows his whereabouts, please let me know as I'd grown rather fond of him.

Weesa, The Dumbest of the Dumb

That's a point — where'd he go?

AND CHEEKY LORD CHUZZLE, TOO?

 

PUNK ROCK PETS

Do any other 'Ziners have pets that look like they belong to a certain kind of music? Like a bubblegum pop cat or something?

Luckily, I don't have one of those, but I do have a punk rock guinea pig. She comes complete with a furry mohican and everything — cool, eh?

Toadette of Toad Hall

Mavis has a sort of 'spiv's hairdo' —

MAYBE SHE'S A LOUNGE SINGER PET?

 

SLEEPOVERS

Sleepovers are great because:

  1. You can sleep
  2. You can sleep
  3. Did I mention you can sleep?

Sleepovers are bad because:

  1. You have to use a sleeping bag
  2. You don't have your own comfy bed
  3. Where's your bed?

Candyfloss Monkey

'Fraid I just lurve my bed too much.

I COULD SLEEP FOR BRITAIN!