Mega-Zine
Icon

July 19, 2001

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE WLW — you wouldn't believe the amount of people I have had e-mailing me asking for the 'Zine mail address so, could I just tell everyone, it's: club140@teletext.co.uk. Nooooooo!

LONELY PINE FROM THE FOREST OF MISERY Somebody help me! I had a dream that my scouser RE teacher was WLW! I need some counselling! Calm down, calm down.

LE ENFANT TERRIBLE This space for rent. OK, I'll give you a tenner a day, but I don't need it Saturdays, OK?

 

WLW

It's official. I'm addicted to M&Ms. They're sooooo nice! Almost as nice as Skittles, but not quite because nothing's as nice as Skittles. Except the yellow ones — I don't like yellow Skittles.

But, back to M&Ms. Is one called an M&M (as M&Ms suggests that each one is an M&M and there are lots of them), or an M (because if you look at one, it says "M" on it)?

Miss World

You soooooooo need a hobby —

PERHAPS YOU COULD COLLECT THIMBLES?

 

'ZINERS

They say the secret of success is being in the right place at the right time.

But, since you never know when the right time is going to be, find the right place and hang around.

And, if the right place is in front of the TV, you can read 'Zine while you wait.

WAHEY!

The Despotic Banana

It's a plan! Not a great plan,

BUT IT'S A PLAN

 

IF 'ZINERS WERE RADIOHEAD SONGS:

Odd Foz: The Tourist
Parsley Possum: No Surprises
Despotic Banana: Banana Con
WLW: Paranoid Android (the daddy)
Me: You (just to confuse everybody)

Socialist Guerrilla

The daddy? Who's the daddy?

ME? THE SONG? BOTH?

 

REBEL HAMSTER

I took in a hamster yesterday. He has already been evicted from two houses so I took pity on the poor cretin and offered him a warm cosy home, where he would be loved and cherished.

It was only today that I decided to show him the love of a human. The sod bit my finger and it's now all big and red like a cartoon thumb.

Anyone want a hamster?

Bongopants

Oh dear. A good deed gone wrong.

MY ADVICE? NEVER DO A GOOD DEED!

 

10 SUPER THINGS

  1. Championship Manager
  2. Tic Tacs
  3. Morrissey
  4. Lemon Lucozade
  5. Contact lenses
  6. Tennis
  7. Channel 4
  8. Teletext
  9. Blackadder
  10. Things that go "Kaboosh!"

The Man With The Golden Bun

Cats? Where are cats on your list?

AND CHOCOLATE? AND FAWLTY TOWERS?

 

BE A BUFFOON

  1. Skip instead of walk.
  2. Ask people what gender they are.
  3. At the laundrette, use one dryer for each of your socks.
  4. At the supermarket, stack up your trolley and leave it stranded somewhere, or just run off with someone else's when they're too busy browsing.

Square Root of the 16th Child

Stand in a lift, look up at the floors

AND SAY EACH NUMBER OUT LOUD!