The Mega-Zine Museum

July 13—14, 2001

MISS WORLD What does cat food taste like? It smells nice but my cat won't let me eat any, even though I always share my food with her. Dunno, Mavis is quite protective over her chunks.

PERPLEXED CROW Dear Mr Agony, I have this really, really embarrassing problem... oops, wrong e-mail address. Feel free to tell me anyway.

MANICS DEPRESSIVE If music be the food of love, James Dean Bradfield should be thin and single surely? Oooh, cutting.

'ZINERS

If you're looking for the most BORING town in the country, forget all the ones already mentioned, look no further than Newbury in Berkshire.

It has no decent shops, no cafes and NO cinema! And if the rain stops, it's a cause for a huge party!

If any other 'Ziners live in Newbury, you'll know what I mean and I want you to reply to this and agree with me!

Uncontrollable Lampost Of Wisdom

Two 'Ziners in Newbury?

NOT VERY LIKELY, IS IT?

MULLETS

When talking mullets, how could anyone forget the King of Mullets... the one, the only, Pat Sharp!

Fun House was never quite the same when he had it all chopped off! For the love of mullets, why did he ever do such a thing?

Sweet Smell Of Psychosis

His was an award-winning mullet...

NO-ONE ELSE HAS COME CLOSE, I SAY

WLW & OTHER 'ZINERS

I would just like to point out two things...

1. I am 208 weeks old in 207 weeks time.
2. Hear'Say are the coolest thing since S Club 7, who are the coolest thing since Steps.
3. I hate chocolate.
4. B*ckch*t is brilliant.
5. Mobile phones do not annoy me.
6. WLW is ugly.
7. You can find Megazine on page 151.
8. WLW stands for Worst-Looking Womaniser.

ThE hUmAn ThAt LiEs.

You're right — I'm hideous!

SEE, I CAN LIE TOO YOU KNOW

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT

I tried your duck questions and I answered "No" to all of them.

However, I do spend a lot of my time floating on a circular pool in a fairground, while people try and stab me in the head to win stuffed prizes.

What does this mean? Am I a duck? I just don't know! Please help me.

Rala Rwdins (I think)

Well, I'd say you were still a duck —

A DUCK STUCK WITH A DUFF GIG

MY PROFILE

Insane Jam Sow

Hmmmmm...

HAVEN'T EXACTLY SOLD YOURSELF THERE

THE KEY OF G MINOR VS SHOWER CURTAINS

1. G minor is the tonic minor of G major, my second favourite key!
2. You can't get tangled up in or trip over G minor.

I think that this is conclusive and compelling proof that the key of G minor is far superior to any shower curtain. Yes, that includes shower curtains depicting the Last Supper.

Parsley "Gnome Enthusiast" Possum

Last Supper? Pah, old hat. Mine depicts

PIKACHU MIMING TO PURE AND SIMPLE

'ZINERS

They say the world is a stage, but obviously the play is unrehearsed and everyone is ad-libbing their lines.

Maybe that's why it's hard to tell if we're in a tragedy or a farce.

The Despotic Banana

Lordy, that's deep for a Friday —

AND IT'S MOST DEFINITELY A FARCE

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