The Mega-Zine Museum
June 17, 2001
CHRIS THE COCKSURE DINGO I once started a rumour about a vacuum, but people found out there was nothing in it. That is soooooooooooooooooo not funny.
ANTITHESIS When you read this e-mail, will you print it if I send you a box of chocolates afterwards? No. Er... yes.
WHISKEY BUTCHER Life in the gutter may be depressing, but at least I don't have any further to fall. 'Tis true. Unless, of course, you support Spurs — in which case...
HAVE MSP NO MORALS?
I have blatantly heard them, in their new single, encouraging people to drink sea water. As most people will tell you, drinking sea water is very bad for you as it makes you incredibly ill and can make you appear bloated.
Actually, wait, that explains quite a lot! Any more brine, Mr Bradfield?
Secluded Rainbow
And it's not good, is it?
SOUNDS LIKE THE BEACH BOYS ON ACID
DEAR 'ZINE
Possum? That boy needs therapy — he's as crazy as a coconut! Having recently conducted a survey, I can now reveal that it is the opinion of the entire 'Zine community that Parsley is criminally insane. However, the best 'Ziner by far is Odd Foz.
Incidentally, where is he? I suspect foul play. Either that, or he is simply hiding from the new Steps single.
Socialist Guerrilla
Nobody, but NOBODY
ESCAPES THE NEW STEPS SINGLE!
'ZINE BOYBAND!
| Fluffy: | The fat one that can sing (his own words!) |
| Mystical Doorknob: | The ickle cute one |
| Dissimulation: | The knowledgeable 'rock' one |
| Apathy's Child: | The opinionated one |
| Parsley Possum: | The 'moody' one (though I like him!) |
| Le Enfant Terrible: | Caterer |
And, of course, I would be the Yoko Ono figure!
Broccoli, The Evil One
And me? I see myself as the
CUTE, TALENTLESS BUT ADORABLE ONE
BUFFY THE TRENDY SLAYER
Yes! Yes! Yes! 'Knightmare'... I loved that programme. One person was in virtual reality and their mates had to guide them around. Wow! Someone else who remembers the greatness of this programme!
On a totally unconnected note, have Fluffy and Broccoli got the wedding photos developed yet? I've been dying to see them!
Fish On The Line
They have and they ain't pretty!
THERE'S ONE INVOLVING THE CAKE...
TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA...
If 'Ziners could be a fruit, what would they be? I'd be a lemon, for obvious reasons!
Or, if they could come back to life as an animal. I'd be a butterfly because, in the immortal words of Bart Simpson: no one ever suspects the butterfly! (cue evil laugh).
Or something to that effect!
Buffy the Trendy Slayer.
I'd be a cat. I could get used to
SLEEPING AND EATING ALL DAY
FOR THE LAST TIME
Will you just leave me alone! The world is ganging up on me.
Anyway, WLW, did you know that our Fluffy looks like Neil from The Young Ones? It's true!
Le Enfant Terrible
PS: Do you fancy Jamie Oliver? Because if you do... HEY HEY!
We like blond
AND WE LIKE CUTE. NUFF SAID?
I LOVE MATT BROWNE
I was at a QOTSA gig on Wednesday night and was pretty bored with the first support band, when all of a sudden... King Adora came on!
I was pretty damn excited already, but to my deep, deep joy, I saw Matt Browne in the bar after the show and got talking to him, and he kissed me! On the lips! Matt Browne!
And to top it all off, I also met an incredibly sexy bassist with fantastic tattoos who I'm meeting on Saturday night, so go me!
Fantastic Plastic
Hussy!
SHAMELESS!
