The Mega-Zine Museum

May 21, 2001

KISS THE GOOSE I had my very own box of Wonka Nerds today!!! I've never had a whole box to myself before. Oh, how I love the mutated ones that are stuck to each other! It's another world.

SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK Have you noticed how the "Fifteen to One" theme tune sounds like a really dire Depeche Mode tribute band? It soooooooo does not.

THE DIMGIRL (FROM THE MOLEHOLE) Intravenous Agnostic! Wow I know big words! Anthropomorphism. Pah!

STAGGERING FACT OF THE DAY

Have you ever wondered what the chances are of you personally knowing a 'Ziner? Of course you have.

There are about 6 billion people in the world. Let's assume that there are 100 'Ziners who write in semi-regularly. If you know 500 people then the chances of you knowing a Megaziner are... one in 120,000.

I never cease to amaze myself with my brilliance at mathematics.

The Man With The Golden Bun

My gob

HAS NEVER BEEN SO SMACKED

WHAT IS IT?

Is anyone else confused as to what this thing shining through the clouds is? I haven't seen it for so long and it's bedazzling me. Although I hated that dreary not raining, not snowing, not doing anything weather, I miss it.

Now I look out the window and people are wearing shorts! Shorts! What is this craziness? (And some of these people should NOT be wearing shorts).

Anyway I better go and say goodbye to my old friends, the jumpers.

Ratchild

'Tis indeed time to rid yourself

OF NASTY KNITWEAR

MEGAZINE

To coincide with the real thing, I think a 'Zine election is due:

A vote for Parsley is a vote for global nepotism!

Parsley "I've created a monster" Possum

And the liquidation of

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR 'FOOTBALL' CLUB

SOCIALIST GUERILLA

Wow, someone else who hates it when people mistreat CDs! I get especially annoyed when a certain friend of mine leaves them lying on the floor with the case open on the other side of the room, so that someone walks in and snaps the case.

Then, the cat jumps on the CD and scratches it so much it's unplayable. I hate it when that happens!!!

Miss World

Yer friends got no respect, guy —

OOOH, I'M JUST SOOOOOO STREET

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

'Tis a sad day for the Pants household. It started so innocently, who would have thought it could go so wrong?

I was laying in my garden, enjoying the sun and without warning, fell asleep. Two hours later, I awoke and felt like my face had melted. Alarmed, I ran inside and looked into a mirror where the full horror struck me.

Not only am I pink and squidgy, but I have a Barbie necklace-shaped white mark on my neck which will last forever!

Bongo Pants

I am very concerned for you, poppet —

I MEAN, A BARBIE NECKLACE? OH DEAR

SILVAN DRACONIS

I got bored so I made up this Top 13 Kewl Cartoons (in no particular order):

1. The Trap Door
2. Scooby Doo
3. Dangermouse
4. Count Duckula
5. X-Men: Evolution
6. Henry's Cat
7. Droopy: Master Detective Hound
8. Super-Ted
9. Dungeons & Dragons
10. My Little Pony
11. Masters Of The Universe
12. He-Man
13. Escaflowne

Silvan Draconis

And Deputy Dawg? Where's he, eh?

A LIST WITHOUT DEPUTY DAWG! WEIRDO

ODD TEACHERS

WLW — if you think having a Welsh English teacher is odd, I had a French German teacher when I was at Wednesfield High. No wonder I ended up with a D.

We also had to wear maroon blazers *SHUDDER*, I'll need counselling when I'm 30 to get over that!

Fluffy The Evil One

I wore a maroon blazer too! Like,

HOW CREEPY IS THAT? OK, NOT VERY

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