The Mega-Zine Museum
April 14, 2001
LE ENFANT TERRIBLE Parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain. Think I'll pass, thanks!
SIR WHENCE PITCHFORK WLW — if you weren't doing 'Zine, then what would you being doing? Running a cattery in the Bahamas, probably. In fact... where did I put that travel agent's number?
cat5187 Dark Grey Wolf — dump your girlfriend and marry me! She doesn't really love you... please? Like buses, Wolfie. All come along at once!
HELLO ALL
I have decided to cheer up your day by making some 'Ziner anagrams!
Parsley Possum: Slap Moss Or Yep
Fluffy The Evil One: Lively Huff Not Fee
Jarvis T Raven: Strive Jar Van
Gutless Wonder: Doner Stew Slug
WLW: WWL
Hope you like them. They took a long time, especially the last one.
The Man With The Golden Bun
I was trying to think of one for you —
TOOOOOOO MANY LETTERS, MATEY!
FISH
I have a fish. However, I will refrain from telling you his name. If I did, people might come and harass him when he goes to the shops.
He is a happy fish, though. I know this because, unlike my other fish, he doesn't swim upside down.
She Who Lost The Plot
Sit down, love. I need to talk to you.
IT'S ABOUT YOUR OTHER FISH...
HAS ANYONE HEARD THIS BEFORE?
She stood on the bridge at midnight
And she was all a quiver
She gave a cough
Her leg fell off
And floated down the river
My mum used to say that to me when I was ickle.
Kiss The Goose
Never heard it, no.
QUITE DISTURBING WHEN YER ICKLE
'ZINE ANTHEM
I am both appalled and amused by the fact that so many 'Ziners want Song 2 as their anthem. It's such a bad song! It's a good riff but it's ruined by the embarrassing lyrics and irritating singer.
The perfect anthem would undoubtedly be Teenagers From Mars by The Misfits. Not only is it a great song, but the lyrics and title are actually relevant to most 'Ziners.
He Who Laughs Last...
Yeh, 'cos I can't move for post
FROM TEENAGE MARTIANS!
WHY SQUIRRELS ARE BETTER THAN GOATS
- Goats eat your jacket and ram into your leg, whereas squirrels generally keep their distance (very wise).
- Squirrels harvest the hazelnuts for Cadbury's Fruit and Nut.
- Squirrels have a better sense of humour than goats.
- Goats are no good at those assault courses you see on You've Been Framed.
I rest my case.
Odd Foz
Disagree with no.3 — I know this goat,
TELLS THE BEST GAGS! HONEST!
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER...
the brilliance that was The Crystal Maze? The bald presenter Richard O'Brien and his Mumsey? The cool theme tune and puzzles? The giant crystal thing at the end where they collected gold and silver paper but never won the top prize?
The Fors@ken One
I do, and I have to be honest...
I DON'T MISS IT
LADY FEINNES
I can only answer your second question. I hide in OneUp... where do you hide? Please don't tell me you're from BODA, though.
Anyway, I'm very glad that there's another 'Ziner from this evil city. I went into the new Tesco and shouted "Hail Davord!", but there was no reply.
Well, a security guard gave me a weird look, but apart from that — nothing!
Self-Obsession Honey
Where? Where are you?
ONEUP? BODA? MEANS NOTHING TO ME!
