The Mega-Zine Museum
April 10, 2001
FURRY MUPPET I think the 'Zine anthem should be Bored by the Deftones... for obvious reasons. More than obvious. My life is dull dull dull.
HOLY PURPLE DRAGON Help me, WLW — I'm stuck in a moment I can't get out of! Oh dear, that Bono has a lot to answer for, doesn't he? U2 for starters!
SILVAN DRACONIS I think that Sky Warrior's cats are plotting to take over the world. They're a shifty looking pair. Aaaah, bless 'em.
WANNABE COAL CHAMBER GOAT
I can't believe that any sane human could possibly think that goats are better than squirrels.
- Squirrels can fit into bins.
- Squirrels have enormous tails.
- Squirrels don't eat your hair when you go near them.
- Squirrel contains the letter "q", which is very underused.
- Goats have never set off the burglar alarm in my school.
He Who Laughs Last...
But goats make that cute bleating noise
AND SQUIRRELS... WELL... DON'T
DINOSAURS
Now come on. Dinosaurs didn't really die out, did they? Why would they? And why would a huge great Tyrannosaurus Rex evolve into a wren? Exactly, it wouldn't.
And what about the big footprints in my garden? Huh?
It's quite clear to me that there are lots of them all over the place. I know, I am one.
Al O'Saurus
So was it you that trampled all over
MY HERBACEOUS BORDER? EH? WAS IT?
WLW
If 'Ziners were chemical elements:
The Psychedelic Gloom — Carbon
Parsley Possum — Methane (you know why)
Offspring Rules — Helium
Odd Foz — Lithium
WLW — Hydrogen
Sadistically Evil And Notorious
Davord emits a gas, the like of which
I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS
HELLO
I would like to dedicate this letter to my best friend, the television.
It's always there for me when I need it, providing quality entertainment (except maybe on Sunday afternoons).
My TV will never let me down, unlike any person I have ever met, who never cease to disappoint.
Queen Of The Fairies
Except Sunday afternoons? Mavis, Davord
AND I NEVER MISS FAMILY AFFAIRS!
IRONY
The odd thing about the bastion of individuality that is Megazine, is that it is trapped between the Westlife-loving idiocy of pages 141, 143, 144 and 145.
I think that really represents what we are about — an island of intelligence in a sea of Celine Dion-liking planks. Not that I'm arrogant or anything.
Bob Bob The Bob
Arrogant or not —
YER RIGHT!
YET ANOTHER POEM
There's people that say I should be stuck in my ways
Restricted in my style and living groundhog days
It's so easy for you to keep on dismissing
Ready to judge but unable to listen
To real people with their own views
Not just some noise about Trendies and Nike shoes
Civil Disobedient
Oooh, cutting...
I THINK WE GET THE POINT
WANNABE COAL CHAMBER GOAT (BLEAT!)
I had to stop writing to the 'Zine because it was getting very addictive, but then I read your highly offensive and foolish letter. I've decided to set you straight.
A goat is just a glorified sheep, and the sheep is the stupidest animal ever to walk the earth. While a squirrel is by far superior and has the brains to fall asleep all winter.
The Fiend Next Door
Mmmmmmmm... sleep... I'm sorry,
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
