The Mega-Zine Museum

April 9, 2001

DWARF OF IGNORANCE In the words of Nelly Furtado: "I'm like a bird, I have wings and I squawk, I don't know what a gnome is, I don't know who Tony Hart is." They really the words?

SHERLOCK, BISHOP OF 'ZINELAND Another oxymoron: everyone is unique, just like everybody else. Nice one, Bish.

MANICS DEPRESSIVE WLW, don't feel guilty about JDB — if he made a 'toon vid like Robbie, instead of being in it, we wouldn't have the ammo! S'pose.

PUGH PUGH BARNEY MCGREW...

I'm sorry, but I can no longer use the plural of 'breathe', written down or spoken.

This is because I think it sounds ridiculous. I reckon it should be changed to 'brothe'. For example: I brothe heavily.

All those in favour say "aye!"

Tiger In Blueprint

All those who don't care —

SAY 'AYE!'

COOLEST ANIMAL?

I would like to take this opportunity to put my barking at Norbex on hold and express my love for the humble platypus.

It resembles a cut-and-paste job involving a duck, a gopher and a Pokemon. Not only that, it possesses the only existing venom to act directly on the nervous system, causing excruciating pain.

Parsley Possum

Blimey — when I did biology,

IT WAS JUST RATS AND MICE!

WLW,

I've noticed a lot of 'Ziners complaining about their home towns. Why don't you guys try living in a seaside town?

Our cinema and swimming pool rip people off with high prices. The only jobs you can get are summer ones at the harbour. And when the tourists come, it not only means money for the town, it means extra abuse if you're a freak!

Silvan and Sky Warrior

I used to live in Brighton — it's

STILL NICER TO BE BY THE SEASIDE

DEAR 'ZINE,

Like helpless logs, we flow down the river of life — alone, unidentified and nameless, desperately seeking the security of an illusory identity.

Some find it in religion, some in science and arts, some in sports, and some others in sharing their thoughts and life experiences.

The paths we choose to reduce our isolation and insecurities differ, but the driving forces remain the same.

cat5187

Some in sports? You mean —

LIKE SPURS FANS? HA HA HA HA HA...

MORE ALTERNATIVE JOBS FOR BANDS

Protective Sheet

Flower assassins?

NOW THAT ONE WAS POOR!

'ZINERS,

Surely the 'Zine anthem should be the theme tune of the old cartoon Raggy Dolls.

For those of you who haven't heard this masterpiece, it includes the lines "Just to be whoever you are is no disgrace" and "don't be scared if you don't fit in, look who's in the reject bin".

Fantastic!

Bob Bob The Bob

Inspirational —

WELL DONE, FOR UNCOVERING THAT GEM!

GET ON THEM KNEES!

Praise be! Glory be to the gods of late-night TV that are commonly known as Adam and Joe. How I have longed for their sarcasm and amusing sketches to be once more on my depressed TV screen.

No longer shall I have to fall asleep to the sordid sounds of C5. Now I have my all-time favourites, Adam and Joe and Spaced, back.

Please God, let this feeling of euphoria last forever.

Bongo Pants

Er... how old are you?

SHOULD YOU BE WATCHING C5?

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