The Mega-Zine Museum
March 13, 2001
SKINNED CELEBRITY My friends told me I needed anger management. So I shouted at them. I see their point. A friend in need's a friend indeed. Or something.
WHISKEY BUTCHER Savage Garden are the musical equivalent of a baby mouse sneezing, whereas Limp Bizkit are the musical equivalent of an Alsatian eating toast. I think. Huh?
PEDIGREE'S CHUM I have a pet gimp called Murphy. Say hello to Murphy, kids. Hello Murphy.
HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF A 'ZINE NATIONAL ANTHEM...
WLW puts up a list of his/her top five from the suggestions so far. Then, we have a phone-in thingy Teletext poll!
All 'Ziners then purchase the winning song or (if not available) album, thus raising it high in the respective chart.
To the outside world, there will be no explanation for this. We, however, will know the truth!
Sir Whence Pitchfork
What a great idea! Can we start with
SONG 2 BY BLUR?
URBAN HERO
Your letter really annoyed me. A lot of teenagers won't know who Kurt Cobain is because a decade ago they were only kids, just starting primary school.
Trendies aren't stupid, they just live in the 21st century. Goths were fashionable a decade ago, so join the rest of us.
The world doesn't hate you, so stop fighting this stupid little battle of yours and get on with life.
21st Century Girl
Crikey — that's fighting talk
WHERE I COME FROM
MY BEST IDEA SINCE DECIDING TO DIP LOLLIPOPS IN TABOO AND LEMONADE!
We should start a 'Zine version of Room 101, 'cept we couldn't call it that because of copyright and stuff so... we could call it 'Davord's Pit Of Doom'.
WLW could be the Paul Merton figure (complete with those lovely suits).
As it was my idea, I'd like to put in cottage cheese because it's the most vile thing ever to be created!
Bombalurina
Yes! It's absolutely disgusting!
OK, WHAT ELSE CAN WE DROP IN THERE?
DAVORD AND WLW SITTIN' IN A TREE...
I think WLW and Davord make a lovely couple. Why don't they go out for dinner? Is WLW scared that Davord will mistake him/her/it for an appetiser?
My brother seems to think that I was a mutant male Cilla Black in a past life. I don't know where he gets that idea from.
Sky Warrior
I think I do! Forget it — he has
DISGUSTING TABLE MANNERS
A POEM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm allergic to pollen
ATCHOOO!
That is the worst poem ever. I just thought I would share it with you.
Harry Kiri
It needs a little work... well...
A LOT OF WORK IF TRUTH BE TOLD!
CLINGFILM
Whilst reading these hallowed pages, it dawned on me that a lot of people admire this invention. So, I have an idea — National Clingfilm Appreciation Day (preferably every Monday).
We have the day off in celebration. I don't have to go to college and WLW, you don't have to go to work and you can stay at home with your cat!
Whaddaya say?
Black Widow
I say...
YES, YES, YES!
WLW
I've been gone from 'Zine for so long! Stupid exams.
So anyway, there I was standing in the middle of a field, completely naked, with no idea how I got there.
So I turned to the dog and said: "Sparky — lead the way," and we pretty much took it from there.
With love and weirdness,
The Elixir Vixen
Exactly how many exams did you take?
I MEAN, YOUR BRAIN? WHAT HAPPENED?
