The Mega-Zine Museum
February 26, 2001
MOTHER LODE I admire both James Dean Bradfield and Parsley Possum. Does that mean I won't go to heaven? 'Fraid so.
VOICE OF THE VOICELESS Before you criticise someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. This way, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes. 'Tis true, kids. I know, I've done it. I now have sooooo many shoes at home!
LIFSON KOFIE Anyone seen my red socks? Or did I eat them? If you did, then I can recommend a good therapist.
A MONEY SAVING TIP
Instead of buying Pot Noodles, put some shoelaces and some old newspaper into a mug, poor lukewarm water over the top, then leave it to stand for three days.
Add some flour/poster paint powder/sand and allow to sink to the bottom.
Heat in microwave until just above freezing then place on to draining board in preparation for binning.
Ta-da! Exactly the same, for an eigth of the cost!
Dyslexic Doorknob
Funny — I was hungry a minute ago but
SUDDENLY... I CAN WAIT!
'ZINERS
Next time you are given some paper, request the yellow variety. It is much more fun and interesting and you will find that you work much better because you are drawn to the brightness of it.
Yellow paper makes you feel happy, and I'm talking from experience here.
The Man With The Golden Bun
Look — I did your name in yellow!
WHO'S A HAPPY BUNNY NOW THEN?
NOW LISTEN!
It is enough that mobile phones are taking over the world, but do these 10 year olds really need phones? Do they? No! Who exactly are they going to call?
But the most irritating thing is these ringtones. I'll be peacefully sitting on the bus and I'll hear S Club 7 blaring from some trendy's phone! And it's usually their friend — two seats away!
It's just not funny any more.
Ratchild
You are soooooo right! And these kids —
WHO EXACTLY IS PAYING THE BILL?
ANTHEM
You want a 'Zine anthem? I would like to suggest Song 2 by Blur, for no other reason other than it's good to jump about to, which has gotta be a good thing!
Many a time I have just gone mad to Song 2. I suggest everyone tries it because it feels so damn good!
Secluded Rainbow
I wholeheartedly agree — it's a belter!
ALTOGETHER NOW... WOO HOO...
PEOPLE OF THE 'ZINE
It has been ages since I first started reading this and, yes, I am a former B*ckch*tter, but is that such a crime?
I even used to be an avid follower of Pondlife, oh — and the Manics! What was I thinking?
But I have seen the error of my ways.
The Girl With No Name
ps: Pluggy was framed (come back) and WLW is definitely female.
Yes — where is Pluggy?
ANYBODY SHED ANY LIGHT HERE?
WLW
I don't bother ducks, Sky Warrior bothers ducks. I knew I shouldn't have let him off his leash.
Treacle the cat also bothers ducks, but she gets scared when they quack at her.
Those two bother ducks, I don't and never have. I was bitten by a duck when I was seven. I was feeding it and it bit my finger, the ungrateful little...
Silvan Draconis
That's ducks for you, though —
IT'S ALL "ME ME ME"
BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH
People say "don't beat about the bush". I wholeheartedly agree.
Beating bushes is very bad practice. It is also not very nice to the bush.
Many bushes come into the care of the RSPCP (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants) badly mutilated, hardly able to stand or walk.
So, don't beat bushes or shrubs of any kind.
She Who Lost The Plot
Er... any bush comes walking towards me
AND IT'LL GET A RIGHT GOOD TWATTING
