The Mega-Zine Museum
February 20, 2001
THE FLYING HIPPO Is there room at 'Zine Towers for a newbie? Come on, I keep my room clean and the rent is paid on time. On time? Yer in!
OMEGA I am an explosives technician — if you see me running, try and keep up! Taxi for WLW!
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE When Spurs fans sing 'Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur' — is it meant to be ironic? Oh yes, very much so!
WLW
Why don't you print my letters? Is it because I am a stange and obsessive (over Fred Durst) 12-year-old? Is it because I worship Limp Bizkit and my world revolves around their music? Or is it because I don't have a very interesting name?
I can't help it. I've always been a trolley. Why do you despise me?
Twisted Trolley
Having Limp Bizkit and "music" together
IN THE SAME SENTENCE? TWISTED!
'ZINERS
Seeing as though it's half term, I thought it would be nice if we could all get together in my home town of Scarborough.
I'll take you on a sightseeing tour which includes a trip to the local mental hospital. Then it's all back to my house for a cuppa.
Please come, I don't have many friends... except for those in the hospital.
Mrs Vicious
Well, I'm terribly busy this week... OK,
I'M NOT GONNA LIE — NO THANKS!
'ZINE ANTHEM?
What could be more fitting than Freak by Silverchair? Not only is it a great tune by a great band, with a gorgeous singer, but it's also completely relevant to us all on the 'Zine.
Altogether now: "Yeah, I'm a freak of nature, yeah, I'm a freak..."
Twix McGoo
Not sure. Now Freak by Radiohead —
THAT IS A CHOON!
DEAR DAVORD, HANDSOME BAD LORD
Make me your Lady — though I stink like the armpit of a sewer. Alas, you will probably not want me, for I am ugly.
But I have sent thee a candle. Light it. Peek at me, darling. I also send thee parchment and quill to write my name, lest you forget that I love thee.
Arianne the Pig-Faced Blonde
His Evilness was thrilled with the
CANDLE — SAID IT WAS DELICIOUS
REGARDING JACKSON POLLOCK/GUTLESS WONDER
Come now, Jackson Pollock's work IS just blobs of paint — either that or I'm lacking in culture and the ability critically to read a piece of work.
A clever man indeed — selling for millions what a decent curry supper could produce around a toilet bowl!
Saying this, however, it could be that you have an eye for genius — please, enlighten me!
The Snork Mistress
Mmmmmm... curry... must have... now...
HELLO? IS THAT THE GOLDEN BALTI?
SLIGHTLY DELIRIOUS STAMP LICKER
Don't worry, you are not alone. I have always loved the taste of stamps. In fact, my mouth is watering now as I dream of the little stamp I have to lick for this envelope.
Mmmmm... that was nice. Do you agree that they have a slightly carroty taste? It's a shame the envelope is self-sticking!
Polo
Slight carroty taste? Let's see...
NO, NO CARROTY TASTE
'ZINERS
There is indeed a new breed of trendies who have dumped Nike for the latest label — Limp Bizkit. But worry not, for I have devised a method for exposing these undercover Kevs, simply by talking to them.
If they name-drop every band in last week's issue of Kerrang! and force their straight-from-the-review-section opinions on you, then sorry — you're onto a loser.
The 182nd Reason
Kerrang!?
DO PEOPLE STILL READ THAT?
