The Mega-Zine Museum
February 17, 2001
FAIRY CAKE I'm gonna do this nicely — who the hell stole my icing in the middle of the night? Own up now! Could have been Davord — he luuuurves icing!
INDIGESTION OF THE THIGH As a tribute to MSP, I'm going to take myself too seriously and lock myself in a pie chamber all day! Over to you, Gutless!
WHISKEY BUTCHER I think Dennis Hopper said it best in Easy Rider: "I never really thought of myself as a freak, but I love to freak." Spot on, Dennis!
AN OBSERVATION
When you stand on your head, the blood rushes to your brain and makes you more intelligent. This helps you realise how stupid you look standing on your head, and so you stand up again.
But, of course, the blood runs away and you forget why you didn't want to stand on your head, therefore doing it again. It's a vicious circle.
I don't really know where I was going with that!
Lady Of The Dead
Me neither —
BUT INVALUABLE INFO, ALL THE SAME
ARE ALL TOWNIES THICK?
After having my lip pierced, I always end up having to give tours of my piercings to curious townies and they all ask the same question — did it hurt?
I reply: "Yes, I loved it."
If that doesn't scare them, they usually try to be smug and say: "That's permanent, you know."
Then I just say: "The jewellery is permanent, but I'm not."
Cue morbid discussion about life after death.
The Furry Wiccan
You have all the answers, good lad!
SO... DID IT HURT?
WLW
A fellow freakish friend of mine spent 40 minutes in Computing Studies today with a clear, short straw in his mouth. The curious thing was, he had no liquid to suck.
When I inquired into his activity, he told me that if you squash the end of a straw, and blow out of it really hard, you get dizzy.
Try it sometime.
Burger Queen Libertine
Kids — as Auntie Davina would say...
DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME, OK?
WOW! ALL THESE PEOPLE FROM WALSALL!
You think Walsall's bad, you wanna see Wednesbury. That's where I'm from, the skutty town next door to Walsall. Walsall's dead posh compared to Wednesbury.
And Fluffy The Evil One — you're from Wolverhampton, aren't you? Do you hang around the big boss monument? Look on the wall down the alley — me and MoTaGrrl signed it!
FLicKeR
Dead posh compared to Wednesbury?
OH DEAR!
DEAR 'ZINERS
I would like to share my obsession with the word "punk" with you. It's getting out of hand but is such a good word and is used more often than you think.
After all, Henry Ford did say "history is punk" and we have things called "punk beds" —
And what about "punk food" or even "slam punks" in basketball? I've even heard girls walk past me and say "What a punk of a man!"
The Man With The Golden Bun
They mean something else entirely...
SORRY, BUT HEY — I STILL LOVES YA
NOTHING
I am nothing. I am here and I am there, yet still, I am nothing.
I am the dirt you wipe from your jacket and the thing you yearn for, yet still, I am nothing.
I am the breeze that cools your face, the water that chokes you, yet still, I am nothing.
I am the thing that burns brightly from a distance, yet still, I am nothing.
Babe vs Universe
You are, poppet. Everyone is someone in
THE LAND THAT IS MEGA-ZINE
HEY 'ZINEYS
We have a Pot Noodle machine at college, it's my best friend! One small problem... it lives in Trendyland and the journey to reach it is tortuous.
To the left of us was Reebok, to the right — Garage music.
For a couple of minutes, while we waited for hot water, it looked like it was all over. But we made it back to our home, safely!
Fizzy Kizzy and Betty the Pot Plant
Make your own sarnies in future —
THAT'S MY 'TIP FOR THE DAY'
