The Mega-Zine Museum
February 5, 2001
MISS WORLD I had a dream last night that every 'Ziner hated me! Tell me it's not true! I don't hate you, but of course I can't speak for the Possum!
JARVIS T RAVEN What came first, the toaster or the toast? The plug.
TELESCOPE THE VAIL IN BRUM I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, so pretty and gay... no, actually I feel like pants but hey, got you lot happy! I, for one, feel like skipping across a dewy meadow — not!
'ZINEY BABIES!
Recently, WLW asked what happened to JSP. Well, having read 'Zine for some time, I had grown to feel love and respect for JSP. That guy had style.
Then it happened. While wandering around Reading Festival, I saw him (I know it was him, his name was on his tee-shirt).
Oh, the disappointment. Having spent the day mocking sad mask-wearing Slipknot fans, here was JSP... in a mask!
Oh well, he's no big loss.
Punktastik Chik
Nooooooooo! Not JSP!
OOOOH YOU NEVER CAN TELL, CAN YOU?
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO
Someone else from Leicester? Can it be? Is it she? (notice the rhyme). For surely only people from Leicester would support the Foxes!
I feel so merry now. That was actually a lie because it really had little effect on me, but for the purpose of this e-mail, I shall pretend it did.
I hope everyone else from Leicester feels the same remorse as I do for the closure of the silver arcade.
Bongo Pants
I, for one, am gutted — actually,
THAT WAS A LIE TOO... SORRY
AAAHHHH POPSTARS
I wasn't going to admit it but, yes, I watched Popstars the other day and, while 90% of it was tripe, I managed to come away from the experience feeling content because of the fact that they had rented out the King's Hall in Belfast... and only about five people turned up!
It made me proud to come from Northern Ireland. Not too often I can say that!
The Wing Machine
I saw it Saturday — anybody else think
THAT THEY PICKED THE WRONG FIVE?
UNCONTROLLABLE LAMPOST OF WISDOM
I am a glasses wearer and can assure you that is the least of our worries.
Sometimes, when I forget to put my glasses on, my eyesight is so bad that I can't see that they're not on.
This leads to me walking into a lot of your friends. But it's OK, they're quite understanding.
Apathy's Child
I walk into lamposts too — although
THAT MAY BE TOO MUCH CHEAP CIDER!
PEOPLE OF THE 'ZINE
If Scooby Doo taught me one thing, it was that the bad guys in the scary masks get caught in the end.
So, don't worry fellow 'Ziners, Westlife will be brought to justice. I've got Scooby and the gang onto them.
So we can look on as that one in the glasses peels off the Westlife masks, and reveals to the world what they really are.
The Fiend Nextdoor
One will be the janitor —
ONE IS ALWAYS THE JANITOR!
MANIC STREET PIE EATERS
So, I hear the Manics are to release a new album soon... that means the 'Zine will be filled with rubbish for weeks about how great/bad the new album is.
I have a suggestion for all who will write in about it... DON'T!
The Fors@ken One
A triffic idea —
LET'S AGREE TO DISAGREE CHAPS, OK?
SHELVES!
Dear "The Guy Who Makes Sense Of Nonsense". Thanks for your concern about the stupid contest. I await your reply as to whether you can digest yourself.
In the meantime, don't worry, I'm not going to ask any insanely difficult quest- ...wait a minute!
I wonder what they keep shelves on in shops — surely not shelves!?
Voice Of The Voiceless
It's a toughie, but if you ask me —
IT'S SHELVES
