The Mega-Zine Museum
January 29, 2001
SAVAGE CABBAGE I want a second opinion. I told my psychiatrist I read 'Zine. He said I should write to B*ckch*t! You sure he was a real psychiatrist?
INSANE GLITTER FREAK For some strange reason, I have always thought Plughole Fantasy is called Ian. Although, I'm not entirely sure why. You mean Plughole's not his real name?
OPINIONATED PIE My friends have now all got mobiles, the bearers of evil. What can I do? Get new friends!
FELLOW 'ZINERS
Have you ever wondered how comets are made? I came up with a theory.
First, let's assume that aliens can't go to the toilet. So everything... um... kinda builds up and then... bang! Pieces fly everywhere and when they've finished flying everywhere, they all stick together to make a comet!
Eazy Chicken
So comets are basically made up of
CONSTIPATED ALIENS? INTERESTING...
A NEW BEGINNING
Freddy Pringle was just an ordinary office boy until one day, while walking his dog, he fell into a pool of unidentifiable liquid. That liquid was Anotite B4, which had the power to change Freddy's life forever.
A day later, changes had begun. He had the ability to read minds and more strength than he'd ever possessed. He began to walk the streets at night in search of something... but what?
Stardust Fox
I wonder if Freddy can tell exactly
WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW!
THE FUTILITY OF HUMANITY
Happiness should be the goal of every human, without compromising the happiness of others, or adversely affecting the environment.
This, though, is impossible thanks to the instincts by which we are all controlled, which are now obsolete in such an advanced society. Only through admitting these irrational drives for survival, or genetically eradicating them, can we all be happy.
The Infinity Perceptive Deity
I'm sorry...
RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN?
A MESSAGE FOR MANICS FANS
Why do you always rush to the defence of your favourite band, just because somebody always slags them off? So what if they do? Aren't they entitled to their opinion, like yourselves?
MSP are one of my favourite bands, but I'm not obsessed. And when Parsley Possum and others make unfavourable remarks about them, I think it's funny. Have a sense of humour!
Karma Policewoman
Absolutely! I don't like them but hey,
I COULD BE WRONG — UNLIKELY THOUGH
KNOCK KNOCK
I don't mean to just barge in. I was just walking by when I noticed the door was ajar (I couldn't help but have a nosey). I think Creature Of The Wheel left it open. Okay if I join you?
Maybe you could make some room on the sofa, Dark Wolf? I'll just make myself at home.
Is that the kettle I hear whistling? I take my tea quite strong. Just one sugar, thanks, WLW.
You don't mind me resting my arm here, Fluffy?
Odd Fozz
Welcome to WLW Towers, love.
(OK — WHO DID LEAVE THAT DOOR OPEN?)
REMEMBER YOU'RE A WOMBLE
This is all very well and good. However, a few problems are bound to arise if you were never a womble in the first place.
For many months, I did indeed believe myself to be a womble. And for a week, I believed myself to be a goose.
Of course, the goose thing has nothing to do with the womble song, but it was still very traumatic for my family.
She Who Lost The Plot
I remember once, for about a month,
I THOUGHT I WAS MILTON KEYNES
WLW
So, while we're on the subject of cheese, I'd like to add my contribution.
It's all well and good talking about the Cheddar and Red Leicester varieties, but spare a thought for those cheeses less fortunate. For example, Dairylea and Primula.
Both are excellent cheeses and are ignored because they're different. Fight for freaks.
The Voices In Cyril's Head
Those voices in yer head, Cyril —
TRY TO IGNORE THEM, EH?
