The Mega-Zine Museum
January 26—27, 2001
PSYCHIC DOORKNOB I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget. Like that fiver you want to borrow next Tuesday?
STRIPEY CAT Just writing to say that 'Zine totally compensates for having to share a world with Westlife and Steps. Though, alas, nothing compensates for having to share a world with Lolly.
DELUDED RESIDUE You know what's really interesting? We have two eyes yet we see only one, unbroken picture. Uh?
EVOLUTION OF THE INDIVIDUAL
At about 15 years old, approx, the individual begins to shun mainstream "music" in favour of something alternative.
Over the next few years, the individual will start expressing themselves externally.
Gradually, they regain full control of their mind. Some develop earlier, some later and some not at all.
Silvan Draconis
Then they hit 35, wear cardigans and
BUY TICKETS FOR RONAN GIGS. SAD.
TO ALL 'ZINERS
After this sudden outbreak of trendies becoming Goths and Skaters, I have a plan. I suggest we unite and form an army which will march into HMV, Wolverhampton, and take out all the decent music, leaving trance and pop.
Then we take it all to my new shop in Ludlow. The address will be given shortly.
So, does anyone want a join?
Greenday's Gimp Army Leader
The idea is great, the downside being
A TRIP TO WOLVERHAMPTON METHINKS
'ZINERS
Penguins are plotting to rule the world! I discovered their secret hideout when I cleaned out my wardrobe!
They said they put on the dodgy flightless bird thing to cover up the truth. They are all criminal masterminds and earth's supreme life forms!
I wanted to tell you sooner but they threatened to kill my imaginary friend Kittie!
The Angel of Statutory Rights
Boy, did your wardrobe ever need
CLEANING OUT!
IF 'ZINERS WERE SHOES:
Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex — Reebok Classics
Miss Tristesse — Whatever Pie Fiend Bradfield wears
Cheesy Foetus — Winkle pickers
Lonely Pine From The Forest of Misery — Adidas pumps (old skool)
Creature Of The Wheel — Comfy slippers
Parsley Possum
And me? What about me?
MAYBE YOU THOUGHT BETTER OF IT, EH?
FOR I COULD DO FOR SORROWS SAKE
For I could break everything in sight,
for all the deep, dark sorrow I face.
For my soul is being ripped apart
and nothing, nothing can help me now.
For my tears are swallowed in the day
but the night air lets some out.
But to let all the pain I suffer out,
I would have to cry for eternity's life.
The Wizard On The Hill (ms)
Suddenly, the Goths v Trendies stuff
SEEMS A BIT JUVENILE, DOESN'T IT?
DEAR 'ZINERS
I was eating my Coco Shreddies this morning and something really weird happened. The milk turned brown! Now, I know this ain't supposed to happen so I got all worried. I wasn't sure whether it was the milk or the Shreddies that were off, so I threw them both away.
It was certainly strange though. Perhaps I shall study it at university.
The Man With The Golden Bun
Or you could skip uni
AND JUST EAT FRUIT
WLW
Why do all the people who write to 'Zine seek to define themselves? If we stopped creating a culture of elitism, there would be no need for conflict between 'Ziners and the human race and we could avoid abuse from ingorant trendies.
On the other hand, it would be fun to hunt them down, one by one, and destroy them all using those daft hats with earflaps!
The Varying Oxymoron
Using hats? Interesting... as opposed
TO USING RUBBER BANDS, YOU MEAN?
