The Mega-Zine Museum
January 4, 2001
MISS TRISTESSE I ask you: what is the purpose of religion? Form of control or form of faith? Control... no, faith... no, control. Both and neither. Dunno.
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE WLW — my sister has threatened to write in with embarrassing stories from my childhood. Please burn them. Consider it done.
BROKEN BUBBLES WLW is Anne Robinson! And you can't prove me wrong! Broken Bubbles... you are the weakest 'Ziner — goodbye!
TO ALL MY ADORING FANS IN 'ZINELAND
Sorry I haven't written for ages. I had to move planets, a big black monster crawled out of the lagoon next to my tent and bit my hands off, then an alien shot my TV with his laser, then my room was invaded by trendies who tortured me with Steps' CDs.
Then I woke up.
Detective Anchovy
Some dream! With me, it's usually
EMINEM, FAYE STEPS AND KETCHUP
PARSLEY POSSUM
I would like to say sorry for having a go at you. You are clearly better than me, so I got you a couple of Christmas presents.
One is lifetime membership of B*ckch*t and the other is a Westlife CD. But hey, if that stuff's too good for you, I've got some c**p.
Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex
Hmmmm.... a distinct whiff of
SARCASM IN THE AIR, METHINKS!
WLW
I dislike the unspoken laws of materialism (i.e. fashion). But I abhor and detest those who feel that by "breaking" one of these laws, they are somehow above others.
Furthermore, in reference to the delightful Parsley Possum — yes, the Manics are rank and Creature Of The Wheel — put down your patently overused Thesaurus!
Quantum
It's a fair point. 'Cos we know better
DON'T MEAN WE ARE BETTER, LIKE
WLW
I love you! You gave me one of the best Christmas presents ever! 'Zine has increased to eight pages.
On a more serious note, it has come to my attention that one particular 'Ziner is going by the name of Fruitcake. Let me assure you that the only Fruitcake on this screen, be it wise or in any other form, is me and me only!
Wise Fruitcake
I think you'll find there are a
NUMBER OF FRUITCAKES IN 'ZINELAND!
BROKEN BUBBLES
I have come to the conclusion that you are still hung up on Mystical Starfish. I would like to let you know that there are other 'Ziners who find you the best thing on these God-given pages. I'm one of them!
So, stop wasting your time and get over her! Like I said — there are others... what do you say?
Key to the Realm of Chaos
PS: You know who I am!
Do you Bubbles? Do you know who it is?
A NEW YEAR LURVE INTEREST, KEWL!
CREATURE OF THE WHEEL
OK, you've annoyed me now. And no, not for your taste in music (that's your loss), but for your musical ignorance.
Placebo, not real musicians? You obviously possess no musical knowledge to suggest that a band that have written and performed three great albums, and sold out countless venues, aren't real musicians! I bet you can't even play an instrument.
Red Pixie
And the recorder doesn't count...
OK?
WLW
I caught the end of a TV programme that was apparently about a frightening new variant of St Vitus's Dance called "Westlife".
Luckily, the disease only seems to affect effeminate youths, but causes these unfortunates to band together in small groups and twitch in formation to inane pop songs while doing goldfish impressions.
Lee Brilleaux's Cat
No cure for St Vitus's Dance I'm afraid
OR TAKEUS THATIUS, AS IT'S KNOWN
