The Mega-Zine Museum

December 27, 2000

THEMANWHOLIKESCHEESE OK OK OK... I've worked out the meaning of life... Oh, hang on, I forgot to carry the four. Hang on, I'll be right back. It's 33.

NEGATIVE CREEP Who wants to live in a world in which the guarantee that we will not die of starvation entails the risk of dying of boredom? Bah, humbug!

PHSYCOTIC BROCCOLI I have committed a huge felony. I didn't read the 'Zine for two days and I must be punished. Several hours of the new Westlife CD!

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE, DO I KNOW YOU?

You sound spookily like the cute guy, sorry, draw-droppingly gorgeous guy in the year above me at college.

The description couldn't be closer and neither could the location. If I stayed on my bus a bit longer I could come and say: "Hidely ho!"

A male Foo Fighters fan... I didn't think they existed. Thanks for restoring my faith in music anyhow!

Black Widow

Oooh this sounds promising —

I FEEL A NEW HAT COMING ON

WLW,

I have a really, really good theory about the universe — and I didn't even know that it was different to anyone else's! Until I said something to my dad and he said, "That's an interesting theory" — so now I have my own theory!

But if I tell you, someone might steal it and make loads of money and I'll be sat at home crying. So instead I'm just gonna toll you that you'll be glad you knew me when I'm rich and famous!

Miss World

But I'm glad I know you now, although

THE MONEY WOULD BE A BONUS!

TO THE 'ZINER TALKING ABOUT STATISTICS:

Hi! I'm gonna tell ya my statistics (like they matter).

Ok — I'm 5'3" (and a ½ to be specific), I have short red hair (not ginger or auburn — RED), huge green eyes, size four feet, I weight 110lbs and my favourite food is marshmallow mixed with rainbow drops!

So what about all other 'Ziners? And you WLW? I bet you're short, pretty and bald! Am it right? Am I? Am I?

Fairy Cake

Short, pretty and bald?

YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO NOT RIGHT

THIS WOULD BE COOL...

Don't you think that on the Teletext website they should have like this thing where there was a web page for WLW, so we could see WLW and stuff?

A page just for WLW, the loves of WLW, the hates, the stories of WLW and Davord and so on.

Wow, I'm gonna get writing to Teletext to ask 'em for this, don't you lot think it'd be cool? Then us Teletext fiends can look at WLW's profile! Wow, I must be a genius.

Telescope the Vail in Brum

You've gotta be kidding —

I AM THE ORIGINAL ENIGMA!

WLW WHY DO YOU SHUN ME SO?

You used to print my letters frequently but now my letters are left unprinted. This could explain the number of letters on the 'Zine asking where other 'Ziners have gone and why they never write.

I think they do write but you just ignore them as you fear their intellect will surpass your own and one day they might take your place. It's only a theory though.

Lady of the Dead

'Only a theory'? I'll say...

SURPASS MY INTELLECT INDEED!

ADOPT-A-TOWNIE

Would any 'Ziner like to support my campaign? Many townies are left alone wandering the streets at Christmas with nothing but a bottle of lager/cider for company because they have forgotten where they live.

You can bring one into your house for a small contribution. Think of how you would feel if you had to endure tight jeans in cold weather.

Spare a thought for these pathetic minions.

NinjaCow

You're too kind-hearted, you are

I'D SOONER ADOPT A SPURS FAN

A SAMPLE SCRIPT FOR MY 'ZINE SITCOM:

13 Coventry Uni students share a house with a homicidal ferret.

Creature Of The Wheel

Lot of potential here I think — sort of

'YOUNG ONES' MEETS 'GAME ON'

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