The Mega-Zine Museum
December 10, 2000
TOY MACHINE I don't 'look' at anyone. I just muse on their ugliness. Oooh, get you, Miss World (Mr World?)... whatever!
OPINIONATED PIE To learn how to have patience, you need a lot of patience. Nobody likes a clever dick!
LITTLE MISS METALHEAD WLW — please print this e-mail because I have gone to the trouble of sending you some real, handcrafted cyber chocolate. And very nice it was too — in a virtual kinda way.
LIFE IS MINGING!
Madonna's new album is called Music — I think she should be done for fraud.
A more accurate description would be Elderly Has-been, Accompanying A Strangled Cat, Mixed By William Orbit And Some Tone Deaf French Dude.
Kinda catchy, don't ya think?
Secluded Rainbow
Apparently, the problem was
FITTING ALL THAT ON THE COVER!
WLW
Fine, don't believe me about the roos, but they're after you and told me to tell you that you were next!
On another note, I finally managed to find some black lippy! No, I'm not a goth, I'm just amazed by the colour black and think it looks good. And no, I'm not a trendy!
Oh, and where is my very good friend Sparkle? I haven't seen her lately. Turnip trouble again?
The Devil's Daughter
Maybe she bad-mouthed a turnip
ONCE TOO OFTEN
IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE?
Do any 'Ziners live in the Birmingham area? Every Saturday we go to Brum and shout "Davord", but no one shouts back the sacred words "Hail, Lord of Tharg".
There must be some of you somewhere — Birmingham is teeming with freaks. Especially in the Oasis.
Ooooh, if you haven't been there, you don't know what you're missing!
FLicKeR and MotaGrrl
I take it a night out at the Oasis
IS A 'UNIQUE' EXPERIENCE?
IN DEDICATION
A haven from the outside world
For all the outcast boys and girls
The overlooked, the undermined
May gather here with their own kind
Somewhere they are free to dream
Here on the pages of the 'Zine
Sweet Sister Of Night
PS Can we add 'kebabbish' to the 'Ziney dictionary? Genius — I love it!
Consider it done. It's there, defined
AS 'LIKE A KEBAB... BUT NOT A KEBAB'
THOUGHTS...
Why is it that, during the weekend when I get bored, my mind goes blank, but when I'm in school and should be listening to my teachers, my head suddenly fills with colourful thoughts?
I need to know because it would be so much more useful if it was the other way round. Who knows, I could have an idea which makes me rich and then I could buy everyone chocolate!
Small Luminous Kiwi Fruit
Think! Think harder!
AND MAKE MINE A DOUBLE DECKER
DEAR 'ZINERS
Has anybody noticed that the people who go to Westlife concerts justify it by saying "I had to take my little sister, she had no one else to go with", or whatever.
It's kinda funny 'cos, when you think about it, at least half of the audience are there out of necessity rather than personal choice — ha ha ha!
Those miserable cretins don't even have as many fans as they think they do!
Egg-Shaped Ian
Who's buying all their records then?
I SWEAR, IF THEY'RE NO 1 AT XMAS...
