The Mega-Zine Museum

December 8—9, 2000

TWIX McGOO Guess what my dad's getting me for Christmas? A psychiatric evaluation. Bet you're all jealous! Crikey — in my day you got a train set!

POLLY I was watching television today and realised how bad children's TV was. Come on, The Tweenies? Teletubbies? At least Sesame Street was cool! Bring back Hector's House, I say! Or Mr Benn.

EGG-SHAPED IAN All I want for Christmas is Hilary from JJ72 and chocolate ice cream. Is that too much to ask? Yes!

EXCUSE ME, PARSLEY POSSUM

How dare you call me a sycophant for voting WLW witty when she is.
How dare you call my friend, Negative Creep, lazy.
How dare you say those things about Mr Foetus.
How dare you even waste space on The 'Zine, you low life B*ckch*tter!

Dark Grey Wolf Of Norbex

'Tis the season to be jolly,

TRA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!

HERE ARE MY NOMINATIONS:

Gothic Goddess

Most in need of help?

NOW THERE'S AN INTERESTING CATEGORY

ISN'T SHE AMAZING!

I've got one of those Magic 8 billiard ball things, you know, where you ask a question and it gives you an answer.

I asked it whether Radiohead were the best band ever and it said, "it is decidedly so". It clearly tells the truth!

So lovelies, send in your questions and I will be happy to supply you with the answers.

Lady Feinnes

Will Chris Tarrant ever quit showbiz?

I AWAIT WITH BAITED BREATH

WLW

Aaaawwwww! Was I being patronising? I'm sorry. To make it up to you I'll ask my good friend, Mr Agreeable, who writes for Melody Maker, to write a long and page-filling dissertation on Kelly Jones and The Stereophonics.

You'll find his choice of words are spot on. Oasis will vouch for that. His piece on them was right on target.

The Gutless Wonder

Somehow, I don't think I'm gonna agree

WITH MR AGREEABLE... DO YOU?

FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE

I expect after that appealing description of yourself, hoardes of female 'Ziners will be lusting after you.

I'm just concerned because I don't want you to develop Plughole Ego Syndrome! It would be a shame to see another perfectly good 'Ziner go down that path, especially you.

Please don't choose a life of rejection and B*ckch*t — you're worth more!

Broccoli

You think he really is that big?

I BET HE'S ONLY 5'1"!

DEAREST 'ZINERS AND WLW

With Christmas only a few weeks away, I think it's important to understand how much Christmas trees play a part in the whole festive season. No home is complete without one.

But while you stare at the purdy fairy lights, think of the pain they endured to bring you so much delight. So sad, being away from their fellow trees. They pine away, literally!

Remember kids — trees have feelings too!

BAbE wiTH pOiSonEd LiPS

And the fairy on the top...

HOW DO YOU THINK SHE FEELS???

Back

Next