The Mega-Zine Museum
December 6, 2000
MISS MACPHISTO Rock 'n' roll stops the traffic. Which is dangerous, kids, so no air guitar on the hard shoulder.
SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT Anybody for a game of Clockshop? I'll start: Bingely Bing Bong, how may I help you? Yes, which way to the chocolate department please?
THE REINCARNATED SQUIRREL EATER An optimist is a person who gets floored by a lion, but enjoys the view. What a thoroughly unpleasant thought.
ATTENTION ALL 'ZINERS
I have solved the mystery. WLW is... Pauline Campbell Jones from The League Of Gentlemen. Look at the evidence:
- Could be a man or a woman
- Likes cats
- Likes Trisha
- Likes fire engines/firemen
- Gets paid to provide a source of enlightenment in the lives of a bunch of people who don't fit in.
I rest my case.
Gold Plated Silver
And pens, of course...
I LOVE PENS!
'ZINERS
A conversation between me and my IT teacher, Mr W:
| Me: | I hate my e-mail, it's really crap. |
| Mr W: | What did you say? |
| Me: | I said, I hate my e-mail, it's really crap. |
| Mr W: | Don't you mean it's basic? My e-mail is really basic? |
| Me: | No, I mean it's really crap. |
Beck, Almighty Queen of the Marmite Empire, thought this was hilarious.
Holy Purple Dragon
Yeah, but you know Beck,
SHE'S LIKE SOOOO EASILY PLEASED
DEAR 'ZINERS
Over the past few weeks I've heard many of you complaining about how bad Coventry is. Count your blessings: at least the roof of your main rock venue didn't blow off in high winds, and at least Placebo didn't have to cancel yet another gig. Grrrr...
I'm off to sulk with the rest of the 'Bo kids from Nottingham. Some of us REALLY have to suffer, you know!
Egg-Shaped Ian
Perhaps that WAS a blessing...
IN DISGUISE OF COURSE!
'ZINERS
I think it's really unfair how all you 'Ziners insult Westlife. An example of this is how they make all their songs sound exactly the same so Radio 1 never have to update their playlist!
So think before you diss Westlife because they're not like other boybands and have strong opinions on important subjects like hair gel and leather jackets.
Secluded Rainbow xxxxxxxxx
What's that I smell? Ah yes,
SARCASM — RECOGNISE IT ANYWHERE!
'ZINERS
I've a confession to make! I am not a freak! I'm not. I don't feel like a freak to me, just to other people.
My behaviour is not weird to me. It's natural for me to act this way. The concepts of normal and freak are myths of human beings and false because we usually do whatever is real and natural to us.
Normality and freakishness don't exist, so stop thinking you're freaks.
Karma Policewoman
Easy tiger, there are worse labels
LIKE, I DUNNO, A SPURS FAN?
'ZINERS
Dylan, Dougal, Florence, Ermintrude, Bryan, Zebedee et al.
Does anyone else have a mad obsession with The Magic Roundabout? No? Just me, then, but I tell you, that programme is wasted on kids. Totally.
My favourite is where Dylan the hippy rabbit learns to play the bagpipes and... OK, I'll stop now.
Purple Panther xxx
I think that would be wise!
THE CLANGERS DID IT FOR ME
