The Mega-Zine Museum
December 5, 2000
QUEEN OF ELMAAARRR Why do birds fly up above, when they have coffee down here? Give up — ask me one on sport.
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE WLW — you're a bloke and your name is Henry. I can prove it because on the back of your shirt it says 'Henry 14'. Rats, I've been well and truly rumbled.
INTERCITY HIPPY Yesterday, when washing up, I found TWO teaspoons left in the bowl. Kill me now! Two? You have TWO spoons? Flash!
'ZINERS,
I'm not a freak, a trendy, a goth or a geek. What does that make me? I'm confused — a nightmare for my complexion.
I worship Bon Jovi, but I also sing along to Britney... when I'm alone in the dark.
The Ironic Blonde Bushbaby from Milton Keynes
You really are confused lovey...
WORSHIP BON JOVI? FOR REAL?
HEY 'ZINERS AND WLW,
People ask me: "Why don't you get a job?" I say it's time to relax while I search for the meaning of life and choose whether I should change the world or leave it behind.
Then I realise I have a bad habit of staring at the sun. I'll be waiting for the day when I get it right and create nothing from something. Perhaps some dirty magic would help.
Offspring-Rules
It's weird but, you know,
THIS ALL SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR
A POEM
The world's end came as a small dot at the end of a sentence.
Everyone died without ado, and nobody cried enough to show the measure of it.
God said: "I do not love you," quite quietly, but with a final note —
it seemed the words caught in his throat.
The world had gone and everything on it.
Lady Feinnes
Crikey — cheer up girl...
KNOW ANY GOOD JOKES ANYONE?
IF THERE EVER WAS A 'ZINE STAR WARS TRILOGY:
Luke Skywalker — (ahem) Me
Han Solo — Broken Bubbles
Princess Leia — Mystical Starfish
Darth Vader — Plughole Fantasy
Jabba The Hut — Cheesy Foetus
Obi Wan — Resident Weirdo
Chewbacca — Furry Muppet
Yoda — WLW
Egg-Shaped Ian
Oh dear... the words
'CAN' AND 'WORMS' COME TO MIND!
CLOSE TO ME
I am you, you are me,
I am yours, you are mine.
We know who we are.
The wardrobe, those black walls, that white ceiling.
Then, the proposal was cute but strange.
Now it is real and it all makes sense.
Lips decorated with our smile, a happy sigh.
Inside the wardrobe... us.
Miss Tristesse
OK, answers on a postcard...
ANYONE?
'ZINERS
You may have heard that the moon is made of cheese. Well, it's true.
It was made by a bunch of space cows that have high pressure udders. They squirted milk at exactly the same point, at such high speed that it curdled and made a big ball of cheese.
If you want to hear how Jupiter was made... just say so.
Smashed Turtle
Hey Smashed... how was Jupiter made?
ACTUALLY, NEVER MIND
