The Mega-Zine Museum
November 26, 2000
WHISKEY BUTCHER She used my heart like a doormat. I guess it was my fault for making her welcome. You feisty foot fetishist you.
MS JANE LANE I may be skinny and wirey, but I could tell you the square root of every letter in the alphabet. At least you're up font about it!!!
FELINE PREDATOR Chocolate isn't addictive. I should know. I eat it every day. Now, where's my Dairy Milk? Ummmmmmmm Choc-o-late. Now you've done it. I'm off to Mr Vending machine...
'ZINERS,
If you were abandoned down a well but happened to have a TV, a good pseudonym for the 'Zine would be Neglected Me.
But I guess if you were that neglected then nobody would talk to you anyway so you wouldn't even need a pseudonym at all!
A Gyrl That Malice Created
Drats, how did you discover my
SECRET LOCATION!!!
"A vacuum is perfection as it is in perfect order."
This statement is proved (and partially contradicted) by the alternate statement "All of my pet octopi wear hats". I have no pet octopi therefore none of them wear hats — the statement is true.
All the matter in a vacuum is perfectly ordered because there is no ordered material whatsoever.
Guacamole
The matter in my vacuum seems to
CONSIST OF DUST AND DEAD SPIDERS!
SOMETHING WHICH MOMENTARILY ENTERTAINED ME:
This afternoon, a rightfully angry b*ckch*tt*r complained that we 'Ziners should stop being horrible about their page, because we should talk about important stuff that's going on in the world, like b*ckch*tt*rs do.
Sadly the effect of this comment was ruined by the opening of a debate on "which is the best mobile phone network?"
Naff Nymph
Even this is better than the never
ENDING PILCHARD OBSESSION YOU HAVE!
Parsley Possum, you are an imbecile. I didn't choose Negative Creep as my 'Zine name just because I'm a Nirvana fan. I chose it because it was one of my favourite songs which I thought suited/described me best. I thought that's what was important, to choose a name that best describes oneself.
What is the reasoning behind your name? A marsupial used for seasoning food?!!!
Negative Creep
I'm sure it's just because "Koala
CORIANDER" WAS ALREADY TAKEN!
CAN ANYONE HELP?
I have a Backchat "problem". I can't get my hair straight! It's too thick and bushy and won't obey me. I just can't stick it back as far as it will go! And it keeps getting stuck in my heavy gold earrings!
Oh, *throws a hand to forehead in melodramatic fashion* woe is me! I am sooooo depressed! It's ruining my life! Can anyone advise me?
Ah, the problems of a townie.
Karma Policewoman
Lose the earrings, shave your head and
BECOME A BUDDHIST. PROBLEM SOLVED!
GAIN A LIFE...
A while back now someone wrote in and claimed that the phrase "get a life" doesn't make sense, and that the correct way to say it is "gain a life".
However, this is wrong too. "Gain" a life suggests that you already have a life, and that you would like another one as well as the one you already have. The correct way to say it is to "obtain a life".
I hope this helps everyone in their future lives.
Opinionated Pie
"Get/Gain/Obtain"
JUST PICK ONE, AND GO FOR IT!!!
