The Mega-Zine Museum

November 15, 2000

TOY MACHINE I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Yes, me too. Particularly when I think I'm the Queen of Belgium. It's great.

SHE WHO LOST THE PLOT Don't worry. I gave them the salad, but I think I got away with it. Lettuce all breathe a sigh of relief! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... salad... lettuce... please yourselves.

FAILED EXPERIMENT TO CREATE LIFE Well if I didn't write this, who did? Must have been a ghost writer! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Golly, I'm on form today.

WLW

Being the stereotypical new person, I feel it only right that I should force my pointless and excruciatingly boring views on you.

This is my election policy and plan:

Thanks for allowing me to waste vital seconds of your life.

Compulsive Depression

No problem,

THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR

HELLO ALL

Maybe the Placebo aggro is caused because some people see bands as a philosophy, the lyrics at least.

I have a friend who sees Radiohead as a social code. Maybe to criticise the band is to criticise the fan.

Mind you, I'm a Britney fan and I can't see any hidden wisdom in her lyrics, unless there's an endorsement of school uniforms and red skin-tight latex. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong...

Hold the front page! I'm off to Madame Brassiere's!

He Tangs

'Oh he tangs, he tangs...' What? Oh,

SORRY, WRONG SONG! 'OH SHE BANGS...'

AHEM

OK, all you crazy 'Zinesters. Let's start a real debate. Evolution!

It's a joke, right? They don't really expect us to believe that load of rubbish, do they? I mean, I hardly look anything like an ape.

I'm not saying organisms don't adapt but why, if they have the capacity to adapt, are all organisms not invulnerable?

Also, why does extinction happen naturally? Why haven't organisms evolved resistance to all diseases?

Something to think about, I think.

Outershellelectron

OK — let's take this from the top...

'ZINESTERS' — WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

WLW

Have you ever wondered what is outside the universe?

Imagine if there were millions of universes like ours that were particles inside one other universe and then that universe was a particle in another universe, and if all the particles in our universe had little tiny universes in them, and all the particles in them had loads of universes in them, and...

The Plasticinic Radiator

Enough!

MY BRAIN HURTS

'ZINERS

We cry when something is sad. Then often we shed a tear when something is beautiful as well. When something's funny or ugly we laugh. Perhaps we are sad when we see something beautiful because we know it won't last forever.

Clowns are funny to look at because they are ugly. When they take off their masks they are dreadfully handsome. That is why clowns are sad and unhappy every time they go into their caravans and slam the door behind them.

Burger Queen Libertine

I have no idea where this is going...

OR INDEED WHERE IT CAME FROM!

WLW AND FELLOW 'ZINERS,

This is my first printed letter, but it's never too early to inflict my opinion on everyone.

So here are my nominations for the 'Zine Awards 2000:

Raven 17

Lifetime Achievement?

THE ACHIEVEMENT IS I'M STILL ALIVE!

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