The Mega-Zine Museum
November 3—4, 2000
OPINIONATED PIE Britney Spears brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell until I listened to her 'music'. Oooh, that's cruel. She's good to her mother and kind to animals.
LADY OF THE DEAD Have you ever noticed that all items of food that are orange taste really good? Carrots, oranges, ginger biscuits. And Terry's Chocolate Orange! Surely THE best choccie ever!
SECLUDED RAINBOW Tip for life: Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Bubble wrap it is.
SIGNS — THEY LIE TO US
Travelling to Nottingham, I spotted a promising sign — 'ROAD LIABLE TO ICING'. Well, I looked and looked, but there was no sign of the excessively sweet confectionery product. Not so much as a piece of marzipan.
I thought I'd better warn you all, so that no other sugar junkies are disappointed.
Sweet Sister Of Night
Thank you...
YOU TRULY ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON
THE SCOURGE OF THE EARTH IS...
Mobile phones! A horrid symbol of consumerism. They demonstrate how sad people are to believe a few ads.
Users think they're sooooo sophisticated, when they are anything but. For some pathetic individuals, the highlight of their day is to receive a call or a text message.
People are so materialistic these days.
Karma Policewoman
What did these saddos do before?
GOD MADE ANSAPHONES YOU KNOW!
ALTERNATIVE 'ZINE AWARDS
Biggest Sycophant: Anyone who awarded WLW 'Most Witty'
Townie In Alternative Clothing: Cheesy Foetus
Laziest Band-Related Pseudonym: Negative Creep
Honorary Mullet Award: Egg-Shaped Ian
Deluded Fool Award: Anyone who a) loves James Dean Bradfield or b) thinks the Manics are talented.
Parsley Possum
What about the Biggest Grump Award...
WHO'D WIN THAT I WONDER!
BACKWARDS RUNNING TIME
| Nicky Wire: | Well, thanks very much. |
| James Dean Bradfield: | Yes, it would. |
| NW: | Oh, that would explain it then. |
| JDB: | Haven't you heard? Officially. since 4 o'clock this afernoon, time has been running backwards. |
| NW: | The hands seem to be going round the wrong way. |
| JDB: | Is there? |
| NW: | There's something wrong with my watch. |
The Revolutionary Carrot
Those Manics boys...
THEY ARE SOOOOOOO ROCK AND ROLL!
JAFFA CAKES
Are Jaffa Cakes biscuits or cakes? They have the shape of biscuits but are similar to cakes. Me and my friend, Lady Monster Muncher, agree on Jaffa Biscakes. However, they are officially a biscuit.
They are classed as biscuits because they don't need to tax them as high as they would cakes. Biscuits are seen as a necessity item — cakes are not.
Ian Brown
You've really done your research here,
ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE WHY
IS A VACUUM PERFECT?
Perfection is uniform; a vacuum contains nothing and therefore contains a uniform amount of nothing. Also, nothing can be very big and, at the same time, fit in a very small space.
In other words, you can put a large amount of nothing into something very small.
Figgin
Perfection is uniform...
THAT'S ABOUT WHERE YOU LOST ME
