The Mega-Zine Museum
October 13—14, 2000
MOP HEAD AND HER DAEMON WLW — you haven't been showing my letters. I have one thing to say... damn, I forgot it. Was it 'sorry WLW because you HAVE printed my letter', by any chance?
DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX I've been told I need confidence. Is that something by Calvin Klein? No, but it should be. Or how about 'Freak — pour homme' — a fragrance for individuals! Yes? No?
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Hey WLW, can I have your autograph and a signed piccie? I don't show up in photos... funny that.
HEY ALL!
It's my 17th birthday soon and I'm having a 'Ziner party! You're all invited to my black palace in the enchanted forest.
There'll be vodka jellies, pilchard cakes, jam doughnuts and, if you're good, we can play 'pin the tail on the B*ckch*tter'!
The highlight, however, will be Plughole singing I'm Too Sexy on karaoke.
Resident Weirdo
Sounds a hoot!
CAN I BRING MY CAT?
WLW
For ages I've been trying to guess if you are male or female, but now I know! And I have evidence!
Everybody — WLW is a girl! You see, she said that she bought a tiara at Oxfam — how many boys wear tiaras? Also, she wants to see Westlife at the Olympics, and all the blokes I know hate Westlife!
Glad to hear you're one of us WLW! Be proud!
Detective Anchovy
Didn't say the tiara was for me, did I?
AND THE WESTLIFE THING? ALL WRONG!
AN ODE TO BOYS WHO WEAR NAIL VARNISH
To all boys who stand out from the crowd,
who wear colours dark and loud,
you'll never know how much it means,
to see the blues, blacks and greens.
Upon your nails the colours shine,
even though you're few in kind,
but know this now you're appreciated,
even if to some, you're hated.
Long live male varnish!
The Elixir Vixen
Blue, black and green? Where's purple?
PURPLE IS THE FUTURE OF NAIL ATTIRE
ME AND HOMER SIMPSON
Me and Homer have a lot in common, you know. He makes that drooly gargling sound when he sees a doughnut. I make it when I see Seth Green, the one of my world, whom I hope to marry one day.
Do you guys know who he is? He's a freak and a pretty darn hot sexy freak. So all you girls pining after Plughole, stop! He's a puny, miniscule, human freak. Seth is a GOD freak!
Huge sigh,
Fairy Cake
Well, whoever he is...
HE'S GOT HIS PR SORTED
HEY, 'ZINEY PEOPLE
Boredom plays games with my head in maths, so I had to find something to ponder... the meaning of life is to find the meaning of life! Deep or what? Think about it, it's the absolute argument! Nobody can deny that it's right, yet nobody can be sure.
So come on, I'll give any of you with a reasonable argument eternal respect and will spread the word of your genius.
Cheesy Foetus
Well I'd love to stop and argue,
BUT I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR
CHAPTER 4:
"Go on," said the voices in my head, "Jump on the rails, think of the pretty sparks... think of the chaos you'll cause. Go out with a Zap."
"LEAVE ME ALONE," I shouted. I suddenly realised everyone was looking at me. I looked down at my feet. Years passed. Chewing gum. Ticket. White line.
The train arrived at last. We all got on — packed in like gunpowder into a canon.
PC-Stu
Goes through my mind every day...
LONDON UNDERGROUND? USELESS!
