The Mega-Zine Museum
September 27, 2000
SHIRLEY BUTTERFLY If you know ALL the words to American Pie — be very, very worried! I'm driving my Chevy to the levee as we speak.
TOY MACHINE I eat the grass which is greener on the other side. So the grass is not greener on the other side now, just sorta brown and muddy? Cheers.
LITTLE MISS METALHEAD WLW — how can you like cats? They bite me and cough up hairballs onto my CDs! Then I would suggest you stop with the Lolly and get yerself something decent!
DEAREST 'ZINERS AND WLW
I am a conscious pessimist and a subconscious optimist. Explain, I hear you say.
I consciously look on the gloomy side cuz then nothing drops below my expectations... and yay, occasionally I get a nice surprise!
But I'm optimistic that, in ten years time, I will look back on my nasty complex and laugh.
Aaaaargh, the delusions! I'm a Manics fan. I'm not allowed to be happy!
Cheesy Foetus
No you're not!
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, CHEESY!
'ZINERS AND WLW
I believe that some of you think Scooch are a pathetic copy of a more established group. Admittedly, there are a few quite obvious similarities, but Scooch are superior and their music is simply amazing.
I, for one, am eagerly awaiting their new album. Any other fans out there?
The 'Zine's Zarjaz Incinerator #9
NB: Damn, did I say Scooch? I meant Soulfly. No really... I did!
Really? So tell me... where'd you get
THE SCOOCH NOTEPAPER FROM, EH?
WLW
I have decided to make up some holidays for us all. Next Tuesday is All Sheeps Day — a day to praise sheep, a day of woolly jumpers and shepherds pie.
The Sunday after is Indigestion Sunday. On this day, the whole family gets together and eats a big meal, then feels ill afterwards.
And the Monday after, a bank holiday, we celebrate coleslaw. Absolutely nothing to do with coleslaw, but a chance to sit around and watch TV repeats of old movies.
She Who Lost The Plot
Who needs a reason to sit around
WATCHING REPEATS OF OLD MOVIES?
DEAREST WLW AND FELLOW 'ZINERS
Why is it that, just when I think I'm happy, things turn sour? I've never been so bitter and twisted in all my life... and it's starting to get to me now!
All I want is for the skies to be sunny, flowers to bloom and Nicky Wire. I don't ask for a lot, so why is life so cruel?
I'm losing faith in everything... HELP ME!
BAbe wiTH pOiSOnEd LiPS
Well it's sunny today, lots of blooms,
BUT NICKY WIRE? NO CAN DO
'ZINERS
The other day I got on a bus full of old people who gave me dirty looks. I asked one lady if I could sit next to her, and she pretended to be deaf. Then, another old lady offered me a seat and was witty and friendly.
My point? Like trendies, some old people are nice and some are not.
The Girl That Malice Created
Just like some Lolly fans are sad and...
WAIT... BAD EXAMPLE, SORRY!
FELLOW 'ZINERS
A random thought. I walked down the street today. Nothing strange about that you say — wrong! The 'street' was actually a 'crescent' and I wasn't going downhill — it was perfectly straight.
What has become of this world? It's a disgrace.
-d-u-m-b- -d-o-u-g-h-n-u-t-
Those breathing exercises I mentioned -
YOU HAVE TO DO THEM EVERY DAY, OK?
