The Mega-Zine Museum
September 11, 2000
PART-TIME WEIRDO I'll tell you who I fancy, if you tell me who you fancy? Me? Kiss and tell? - think not!
EVE L. SPIRIT I took my car for a service the other day but I couldn't get it through the church doors! Oh dear... comedy is a dying art form.
CAKE FIEND Does anyone else look up long words in the dictionary to sound clever? Yes, me! Unfortunately, all my friends are stupid so it's a complete waste of time. Hey ho!
'ZINERS
I sense a traitor in our midst. Big-John Thursday obviously does not understand the threat that trendies pose to us. In fact, I think he could be one, spying.
Doesn't he understand that the tyranny of Steps-lovers needs to be passively resisted through the use of alternative clothes and music?
Does he by chance know Jon The Postman? They're both as bigoted as each other.
Apocalyptic Dishcloth
Big-John's entitled to an opinion.
IT'S WRONG... BUT HE'S ENTITLED!
DEAREST BROCCOLI
You say you love evil men. Well, I am as evil as they come and I was a man the last time I checked. So, how about a 'Zine marriage? WLW could perform the wedding and Davord could be best man... er... thing?
We would get on great until I discover you like Slipknot. Then we would split up and get a free trip to Chicago to be on the Jerry Springer show. WLW would be a guest and we would finally get to see what he/she/it looks like!
Fluffy The Evil One
You got it all worked out, haven't you?
AND WHAT'S THIS HE/SHE/IT BUSINESS?
PARSLEY POSSUM
I am so glad that I am not alone in my fixation for mullet-dom! They truly are a beautiful and elegant phenomenon!
Other fans may be interested in my mullet fanzine entitled 'Pret-A-Muleto' 'cos this month's special feature is a backstage chat with the mullet pioneer himself, monsieur Pat Sharp, with a chance to win one of 10 limited-edition, clip-on mullets.
Wow, eh?
Egg-Shaped Ian
Put me down for one... I feel a
KAJAGOOGOO MOMENT COMING ON!
INTERNAL WRANGLER
Hmmmm... interesting theory of yours, that is. I've never seen a "puddle" of eyeliner. How many Manics fans have you met? Sounds like you were recently dumped by one.
Did it not occur to you that some Manics fans are male? You probably know less than 2% of their whole fan base.
What are you, a Levellers fan or something? The only shallow one is you!
Miss Tristesse
You know, without the existence of MSP,
JUST WHAT WOULD WE RANT ON ABOUT?
HI 'ZINERS
5 things that are wrong in the world:
- Stuck-up trendies who can't accept people for what they are.
- Cheesy pop groups like Steps who have severe talent starvation.
- Wars — who needs 'em?
- Exams, especially science ones.
- Our physics teacher, Mr Parker. He gets his kicks from connecting wires. Nuff said.
Cobain's Teen Spirit
And Big Brother. That has to be wrong,
SEEING DARREN'S PANTS EVERY DAY
EGG-SHAPED IAN
I have always considered the 'Zine to be about individuality and creativeness and I have observed this for some time.
So imagine my horror as I saw that you had stolen your 'bees make honey...' quote from the God of alternative comedy, Eddie Izzard!
Please refrain from any more of this wicked plagiarism.
The Evil Giraffe
I am an evil giraffe. I shall eat more
BERRIES THAN THE REST! HYPOCRITE!
