The Mega-Zine Museum
September 5, 2000
SECLUDED RAINBOW Optimism is for people too stupid to be pessimistic. I agree — always look on the gloomy side and you're never disappointed.
THE CAT THAT DIDN'T COME BACK In my opinion, everyone is as unique as everyone else. I agree... I think(?)
BRUISE VIOLET How many trendies does it take to wallpaper a room? Just the one... but you have to slice them really thinly! I don't unders... Oh wait! Yes! I get it! Very good... "slice them thinly"... very good.
DEAR PARSLEY POSSUM
In defence of the Manic Street Preachers, I decided to write a little poem for you:
Printing the Possum was surely a crime
His poem was the dumbest I've heard
It's bad enough it didn't rhyme
I hope you drown in lemon curd!
I don't want to see you on here again, you nasty, nit-picking marsupial!!!
Cheesy Foetus
Oooh lemon curd...
IT WAS THE MARMITE OF ITS DAY!
WLW
Why don't you ever print my letters? Do you only print letters about the Manic Street Preachers or Davord? Does he hate me too?
You're all against me — all of you! I'm not crazy, you are!
Now, where did I drop my medication?
Evil Chimera
Dunno, but you mentioned MSP and Davord
SO... VOILA! PRINTED!
LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT
I have sent letters in the past defending trendies. Of the trendies I know, I do not respect their ideals or their tastes. However, I do respect their right to live how they wish without receiving the scrutiny and disapproval that everyone will receive at some point in their lives from narrow-minded people.
I have no respect, however, for the fascists who think that they should be oppressed.
Parsley Possum
A refreshing attitude these days...
CAN WE LEAVE THEM ALONE NOW?
WLW WHO ART IN WLW TOWERS
Hallowed be thy name
When a new day comes
Some new letters shall be shown
On TV as it is in 'Zineland
Give us this day, our daily escape
And forgive us who used to like Britney
As we try to forgive those who still do
Lead us not into S Club 7
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom
The power to edit and the glory
For ever and ever...
Amen
The Sullen Riot
Aaaah, the power of prayer!
ME AND MY EGO ARE TOUCHED
WLW
I can hack into computer files, so be warned WLW — your sick secret will be out soon!
I'll find out about government conspiracies and aliens with 17 nostrils and no toes. Then the FBI will hunt me down in helicopters, forcing me into hiding with a group of trendies.
No one will ever mock me again as me and my band of misfits cause anarchy and disorder (cue evil laughter).
Bad Mannered OJ Girl
My sick secret? OK, for the last time,
THAT SCOOCH CD WAS A GIFT! A JOKE!
WLW
I am The Napalm Monkey. Just in case you care, here is a summary of everything I like and hate:
I like The Clash, Bad Religion, RATM, Nirvana, Citrus Polos, fish, monkeys, Swamp Thing, Dilbert, Full Metal Jacket and, obviously, WLW.
I hate most townies, Robbie Williams, dance music, 99% of insects, people who kill monkeys.
Hurrah for the 'Zine!
The Napalm Monkey
The "99% of insects" worries me...
LIKE, THERE'S AN INSECT THAT'S OK?
