The Mega-Zine Museum
July 16, 2000
THE GIT If I don't see this on my TV Trendies will take over your brain. 'Oops I did it again, I gave you my heart...' — it's too late... noooooooo!
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE Why are doves the sign for peace? Why not pillows? They have loads more feathers and don't have that dangerous beak. Yeah, but pillows don't fly so good. Believe me, I tried!
JOHNNY APPLESEED I'm making sure my garden grows. I plant a seed everywhere I go. Wanna come round to mine? I can't tell a weed from a... well another weed.
EVEN A STOPPED CLOCK IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY
I nominate the mullet to supercede the pilchard as the new overused comical item. It is inarguably the finest hairstyle ever, and if it's good enough for David Bowie, James Hetfield, the one from Kajagoogoo, etc, it's good enough for me.
Remember: Short on top and long at the back!
Parsley Possum
Oh please, not the mullet. What next?
LEARN THE WORDS TO 'TOO SHY'?
EGG-SHAPED IAN OR WHOEVER IT WAS...
WLW — you have failed to realise that 'Ziners are the master race — the world would be a happier place if we ruled it. Therefore we need more than five pages. For some of us, the 'Zine is the highlight of the day ya know!
If you don't obey my command, we'll all become B*ckch*tters and I'll tell the world your secret — that you dance around singing to Steps every night!
Bring Back Her Head
OK!
WHO'S BEEN TALKING? EH?
'ZINERS
People accuse me of being cynical. They say things like:
"When did you become a cynic?"
And I tell them this:
It was when I was 4 and my mother said to me "Every time you tell a lie, a fairy dies."
I replied: "Bring me the bodies"
Dormant Assassin
I was the same when I found out
BASIL BRUSH WASN'T A REAL FOX
'ZINERS
The sun is raining. The sky is green.
The grass is falling. The rain is dry.
The clouds are sugar lumps. The house is upside down.
I don't know where I am. Help me.
I've a headache, I've a hangover, I feel sick.
I once had a crush on Kurt Cobain.
Oh heck, did I just say that? I want some cheese!
Black Widow
Er... take it from me...
CHEESE IS NO CURE FOR A HANGOVER!
