The Mega-Zine Museum
July 13, 2000
SKINNED CELEBRITY Dear everyone. I feel pretty and witty and fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. I feel sleepy, I feel sleepy, I feel sleepy and sluggish and draaaaaaaained!
PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM Miss Tristesse — read Keats' Lamia. Old Apollonius will remind you of your maths teacher. Cigar smoke reminds me of mine. She was a funny old thing, my maths teacher.
PROUD PRINCE OF PRIVILEGED PILCHARDS Plughole Fantasy is a traitor! He wrote to B*ckch*t. What has the world come to? We know... he did a very bad thing!
WLW
I think I'm going to cry! Some evil **** has stolen my name! On Void, someone's e-mail address was: residentweirdo@CENSORED
How dare they! All 'Ziners who can, please e-mail the thieving parsnip and demand they give me my name back!
And if you're reading this, parsnip head, why don't you call yourself Lucifer instead, huh?
The REAL Resident Weirdo
Several 'Ziners claim imposters —
ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T YOU, EH?
THE PLUGHOLE SAYS....
I have discovered who wrote to Backchat under my name!
I don't want to shame him, but I will tell you that he goes to my school, his initials are CLC and his name is something like Cheeky Lord Chuzzle!
Wendy Louise Wilson (WLW) — I can't believe you thought I was guilty!
Plughole Fantasy
So it wasn't you? Really? Hmmmm...
BY THE WAY — WENDY LOUISE WILSON?
HOOJBA
As I entered my urbane Newcastle pied-a-terre last Friday, I discovered that Hoojba (my sober sidekick) was sitting in his rocking chair, puffing away at his curly pipe.
"Hoojba" I yelled, "what are you doing?". He removed his pipe and smiled at me.
"Aaah...my dear boy, I'm just contemplating my latest play." Not again, I thought. Every time he picks up that pipe, he turns into Noel Coward.
Mind you, could be worse, he could turn into Noel Edmonds.
The Fist Of Rebellion
Noel Edmonds? But think how many
LOVELY JUMPERS YOU'D HAVE!
DEAREST PLUGHOLE FANTASY
Even though you may never have heard of me, and even though you have sinned against the 'Zine (apparently not), I do not care. Your letters touch my soul and if you promise to love me forever and save me from Davord, we can run away together and be truly happy.
Whether it's on 'Zine or B*ckch*t!
Goth Girl Trapped In Davord's Dungeon
You think Davord's gonna let you out
FOR A... A... B*CKCH*TTER? NOOOOO!
