The Mega-Zine Museum

March 30, 2000

SEFYRA YR SEFYRON Blood makes the grass grow!!! It does, really!!! Makes a trip to the garden centre a waste of time then, doesn't it?

LITTLE BOY BLUE The world's most earth-shakingly beeyootiful people are: 1) Marilyn Manson 2) Mika Hakkinen and 3) Morten Harket from A-Ha. There must be some sort of helpline...

ALIENATED FISHFINGER We should have a John Cleese day or maybe a JSP day instead. What do you think? Hmmmm... no.

DEAR 'ZINERS,

Why are some of you so pathetic? "oh nobody loves me, I have such low self-esteem, I am soooooo depressed".

I do not read the 'Zine to make me feel sorry for emotionally retarded, attention-seeking, Gollum-like slugs! I read it because sometimes people write meaningful, witty and interesting letters that brighten up my day and give me food for thought.

Skinned Celebrity

Actually, while you're on,

I REALLY HAVE FELT UNLOVED LATELY...

DEAR 'ZINERS,

WLW won't print my letters, so I think I'd best introduce myself.

I am a heron who died in December. I'm not sure how but I think it was something to do with an Arriva bus.

I read 'Zine every day and I have sticklebacks hanging on my bedroom ceiling in Heaven.

The Heron Angel

Sticklebacks on your ceiling?

CHANGING ROOMS TO THE RESCUE!

COMING SOON TO A SCHOOL NEAR YOU

Evil Occult Cows and Evil Occult Sheep have invaded our school. They will be coming soon to a school near you.

But don't fear. Stabbing them through the eye with a Biro can eliminate them.

Stock up on Biros, you may need them!

Xtremely Unevil Starfish From Pluto.

Forking computers?

IS THAT A PLUTO KIND OF THING?

TO ALL 'ZINERS,

Where has all the humour gone? Everyone's way too dull, so here's a list of my favourite things:

• Fizzy dandruff
• Mints in gravy
• Pat Sharpe, Chevy Chase, Kevin Bacon
• Explosive pink laces
• My dog Cebge, who says "mmmmm"

Cheeky Lord Chuzzle

Cebge? CEBGE?

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ROVER?

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