The Mega-Zine Museum
February 17, 2000
NEGATIVE CREEP Destiny, hold my hand, protect me from the world. Umbrella, hover above my head, keep me from the rain.
PLUGHOLE FANTASY I'm obsessed with the name Lola. And the point is?
THE CENOBITE TRANCER Ever feel like you're the only sane biscuit in a barrel of crackers? What a crumby comment...
'ZINES
Last night an angel appeared at my bedside, looked me directly in the eyes and said: "You need to change your ways, give up alternative music and take up harp lessons."
I replied: "Get lost halo-head! Your rambling over my Garbage CD."
Needless to say, I haven't seen him since. Just as well really — he looked so much like David Beckham it was spooky.
Mystical Starfish
Angel Delight now in
MAN U FLAVOUR
'ODE TO A BOYBAND
I have written you all a poem:
If that stupid pop act Westlife paid a visit to my town,
I'd lock them in the venue and burn it to the ground.
I had to censor most of it, let's just say it involved a flamethrower and a packet of wine gums.
Broccoli
I really can't sanction
SUCH GUMPTION
ALONZA'S HALF SISTER
If there's one topic the Zine should never, ever cover, it's baked beans. Please, please, please don't mention them again.
It's just that I've got this really bad phobia: a fear of baked beans. Even thinking of them makes me feel ill.
The Psychedelic Gloom
Beans in the morning, Beans at night,
IT'S AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS
'ZINERS
We are the sorry result of an accidental UV ray striking a random molecule millions of years ago. We are destined to die in a radioactive wasteland or a designer disease pit.
In the meantime, we do all we can to make ourselves unhappy by believing that happiness exists, failing to take into account the fact that we are human, and so nothing is ever enough.
The Fuolornis Fire Dragon
But, looking on the
BRIGHT SIDE FOR A MOMENT...
