The Mega-Zine Museum
January 1, 2000
LARA CROFT Sorry I've been away for so long, it's just that I've been so busy what with the baby and all. Awwww.
A SONIC YOUF and you too can have this lovely synthetic plastic ring holder for only $4.99. Just look at it glimmer! We accept Visa, Mastercard, gold cards and reality cheques. I'm gonna ban grandma from watching TV.
MISS TRISTESSE Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. What does this saying mean? To me it's garbled rubbish. Bingo.
ZINERS
Before becoming a plughole I used to be a cap. It started off great, I went out every day and my owner was really tall so I had a great view.
But then he started wearing me backwards and I couldn't see where I was going. One day I ended up walking into a wall. Luckily it was made of clouds rather than bricks.
Plughole Fantasy
Gee, what will you be next...
BUBBLEGUM ON SOMEONE'S SHOE?
HARK! AN IDEA!
Hmmm, you know there are "Beanie Babies"? I think there should be "Ziney Babies". Little cotton versions of every Ziner filled with dried peas! Fantastic! I may even split the cash with ya, WLW.
I'd like to make an advanced order of a beanie "The Won Hoo Cudn't Spel".
Strawberry Piccalilli
Wow! What a brilliant idea...
I JUST HAD
MY MILLENNIUM PRAYER
Dear Father, who arts in heaven,
The nation doesn't ask for much this Christmas.
We know world peace is beyond you or we would already have it.
I finally understand Kula Shaker are no more, so I won't ask for them back.
Just grant this please — Make John Lennon's Imagine No1.
There is nothing greater for the Christmas song of the Millennium.
Let it be.
Strawberry Fields Forever.
The Stoned Rose
Have you though about setting it to
ABBA'S 'HAPPY NEW YEAR'?
