The Mega-Zine Museum
October 8, 1999
THE PSYCHEDELIC GLOOM Ok so everybody's heard about the boy who cried wolf but what about the boy who cried pilchard? They just told him to can it!
THE LAST HAUNTED STALKER I was always told live fast, die young — wouldn't live young and die fast be better? Or, just tell them to shut up.
THE INK SPOT ♫ I'm Blue, Da Ba Dee Da Ba Da, Da Ba Dee, Da Ba Daa... ♫ Oh dear, turning into a smurf.
HEY NEW GUYS,
If you're a new Ziner, then hello. But a word of warning: WLW is out to get you.
S/he will never screen your letter if it doesn't come with a half-eaten Wagon Wheel. That's the first test.
Then you need to actually post yourself to the Zine and take over from WLW. This has probably never been achieved.
Eau Rouge
We're upping our demands — only
HALF-EATEN TURKEY SARNIES WILL DO
A TALE...
Around second break I ran outside. On the field they'd already started setting up goals with jumpers.
A man appeared unannounced — he was pushing a lawnmower thing. "Where's Bert?" I said. "Bert who?" he went. So we all shouted: "The guy who did this before!"
The man thought for a while and said: "Oh." After a long time he remembered. "Bert's got flu," he said.
Dormant Assassin
You don't think
YOU NEED TO GET OUT A BIT MORE?
ADVICE FROM THE HEART,
Being world-weary and wise, I shall submit to you a piece of advice — never fall in love with a sixth former.
They'll only destroy that vital organ you need to pump blood around your body.
Sisoa Fox Jedi
The coffee machine
YOU MEAN
TRUE STORY,
This weekend I helped Hector break his caffiene addiction. He was like a caged animal ready to kill for what he needs.
I called for him but he didn't answer — I know he was there, drinking coffee.
On Monday in school we jumped him six caffiene patches and two jars of Gold Blend. He said: "I need it to get me through the day."
Just say no kids, just say no...
Hannibal The Mercenary
I could give up... anytime...
IF I WANTED TO
