October 1, 1999

THE LEBANESE SWEDE FROM NICARAGUA Hey Marionette, lurking in the shadow of your inferiority complex, you're a sad, lonely puppet A truly poetic way to insult someone.

CHARMLESS SQUIRREL Why are you so obsessed with your tea-lady anyway? Just trying to avoid being poisoned.

PC STU How come I seem to be so attractive to women? I hardly get anything printed and women throw themselves at me anyway. This probably won't even get printed. Well, if you got it, don't knock it.



I fear I must bid you all adieu until December. By the time I return, may all with a hang-up about individuality realise and believe in themselves; be confident in your musical tastes, not critical of others; to those who complain of a primitive tonal scene: worry not, the sounds are there if you are willing to search.

The story of love is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye, until we meet again.





We run around in circles so we don't get lost. It bores us so much that we run faster, but this makes the circles smaller — and life duller.

The answer? Run off in a straight line. You won't know where you're going, but you'll know where you're not going!

The Psychedelic Gloom




It's time for me to go...

I've got to go away to teach poorer countries how to have efficient post services. So this is sadly my last letter. I bet you'll miss my friendly encouragement and modern thinking.

I'm sure Joan the Postwoman can continue my round (she won't last long). And watch out... she's a bit sexist!

Jon the Postman MBE

Beware of the



Heavy Feather

If you're going to be pedantic, then two can play at that game.

Firstly, Tudor has a capital T. Also "minced meat" is obsolete, and the correct word is 'mincemeat'.

If anyone has other boring topics to be pedantic about, please don't let me know, as I couldn't care less.

The Psychedelic Gloom
ps: God save the Queen!

Such cynicism for one so