The Mega-Zine Museum
August 20, 1999
THE SNAIL MASTER Bet you can't say anything witty about this. In fact, I bet you don't even print it. Hah! (I feel I have perhaps fallen into a cunning trap!)
SYSTER OF A DOWN Which is the most evil letter in the universe?. I'd say "S" 'cos it stands for Satan. What do other 'Ziners think? But it also stands for "Sahnukums" and "Snugglebums"!
DORMANT ASSASSIN You don't normally have bad breath, but you do today! What can I say, I ran out of Smints!
IT'S TIME TO EDUCATE YOU PEOPLE AGAIN.
I've just come back from my hols with the missus.
While she was washing the dishes, I went out to get a sun tan. And oh my God... the amount of women going topless and dangling their threepennny bits in front of me! Disgusting!
You young girls have no self control. I don't want to see that in public. You young girls are as daft as brushes!
What happened to good manners and femininity?
Jon the Postman
From the Institute of
LAND ON PLANET SOUND p480
DEAR MEGA...
My favourite colour is black. My favourite colour of nail varnish is black. My favourite colour of eyeliner is black.
And when I wear black I look DEAD SEXY....
love,
Magnetic SlugXXX
PS — Anybody want to be my boyfriend?
PPS — If you print this letter, you will receive great fortune!
Whoever said that
GOTHS ARE DEAD?!!!!
TO ALL 'ZINERS...
This is to introduce me, oh my brothers, the Clockwork Orange.
I am asking all nadsats, be thou devotahk or malahick, to be my drooks, for I am a malenky bit lonely, here on my oddy knock. I would be pleased to viddy a message from you all.
And so farewell, O my brothers. I hope to slooahy from you soon. Amen, and all that cal.
The Clockwork Orange
No mega-drooks speak nadsat
VIDDY?
